The Beilers

Tuning In...In 2012

2012-01-12T10:04:00.001-08:00

Looking back into the past year is a healthy process and I suppose most of us do it. It has become a tradition for me to stop, grab my journal, and read about the year before.

It's amazing how much I actually forget! I guess there are a few things that I want to forget but 98% of it is stored in my good memory box. In years past I would get to the end of the year and wish I could forget it all. God has been so good and patient with me through the years. I'm thankful that I can now look back without regrets.

As I reflect on 2011 I realize my greatest times were the moments I spent in quietness and meditation. It's in that place that I experience sanity and God's peace. It's where I receive strength for the task of the day and stop to count my blessings. There are many voices all around and sometimes it is a bit much for me to take in. There's radio, TV, newspaper, books, Facebook, Twitter, texting.

I simply shut it all out or off so that I can hear God. Hearing God is like turning the right dial or pushing the right button to tune in. Just like cyberspace is loaded with information so to God is everywhere.

In order to get any information technically, I have to tune in by pushing the right button. The information is out there...somewhere. The voices are ready to give us information but I don't hear them until I tune in.

So it is with God. He is all around us and wants to give us information at any time, but I have to tune in. Tuning in is as simple as stopping, turning all the other voices off, being perfectly quiet, and listening.

Psalms 46:10 - "Be still... and know that I am God."

This year stop often and listen. God will speak to you. His voice is unlike any other voice you'll hear.

He is always loving, kind, directional, personal, and full of compassion. He will give you peace in your heart, courage for each task, hope for tomorrow, and joy for your journey.

"Be still and KNOW that I am God"

Practice "being still" this year and you will experience "knowing God".

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

2011-12-27T06:12:00.000-08:00

Another Christmas has come and gone! It’s amazing how time flies. A few weeks ago as I was thinking about the Christmas season and my mind went back to my school days. Each year we would have a class play and most times my part was singing. The entire class would always memorize parts of the Christmas Story.

I believe I was in the 6th grade when I memorized the account of "the birth of Jesus" as told in Luke 2:1-20. I can still recall the competition. I wanted to be the first to memorize it correctly. There was one boy in my class who always won, but he was also my reason for trying harder. I wanted to be the first but I always came in second.

I didn't realize at that time the power of memorizing verses and stories from the Bible. I didn't know that 50 years later I would lie in my bed and be able to recite the story in Luke two.

As I was thinking about Christmas this year, it began flowing out of my mind. I realized then that I was quoting the Christmas story. I was surprised, but knew where it was coming from. I had stored it in my mind all these years!

This Christmas season I have been telling the Christmas story to myself over and over again. It has taken on new meaning for me. Wherever I go I'm thinking about HOW Jesus was born and WHY Jesus was born. It's been easy to keep my mind on the real reason of Christmas.

The first message Jesus gave to all of us the night of His birth is ..."fear not, and peace, goodwill to men".

I pray that you will "not be afraid" and you will "have peace" during this glorious Christmas season and into the new Year.

If you want to read on, you may read the Christmas story in The King James Version....just as I memorized it.

“And it came to pass in those days that Caesar Augustus made a decree that all the world should b taxed and this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria and everyone went to be taxed in his own city Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea in Bethlehem, in the city of David because he was of the house and lineage of David. He went there to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife who was great with child. And it came to pass that while they were there the time came that she should be delivered and she brought forth her firstborn son and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger because there was no room for Him in the inn.”

“Now there were in the same country, shepherds abiding in the field keeping watch over their flock by night and low an Angel of the Lord came upon them and the glory of the Lord shone round about them and they were sore afraid. But the Angel said unto them, "fear not, for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you, you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger".

“Suddenly there was with the Angel a multitude of Heavenly hosts praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, goodwill toward men.’"

“Now when the Angels had gone away from them the shepherds said one to another, "let us now go even unto Bethlehem to see this thing which has come to pass, which the Lord has made known unto us".

“ So the shepherds went and came with haste and found Mary and Joseph and the Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger just as the Angel had said to them. When they had seen Him they made known abroad all the sayings which were told them by the Angel and all who heard them were amazed at their sayings.”

“But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things which they had seen and heard which the Lord had made known unto them.”

Try Something New!

2011-10-12T11:22:00.000-07:00

Do you feel trapped in a mediocre life? Do you want to add some flavor to your life?

I remember how frustrated I had become with our bland old pretzels at Downingtown. I was ready to give up on them. But Jonas convinced me to try a few new ingredients:

Back in Downingtown in 1988, I stood around the ovens with the rest of our family and employees, waiting for those pretzels to come out. We all felt eager to try them, especially with that amazing smell starting to circulate around the stores. I looked at Jonas - he grinned and his eyes sparkled, but that didn't surprise me.

The pretzels came out, and those of us waiting tore into them like a bunch of vultures...and we couldn't contain our amazement! The difference in taste between those pretzels and the ones we had been making was completely indescribable. The new ones were soft and fluffy on the inside and crisp on the outside, tasted incredible, and melted in our mouths. I couldn't wait to sell them.

Maybe it's time for you to try something new. Maybe, if your marriage has become dull, it's time for you to make more time for your spouse. Having trouble with your kids? Take them out and do something special with them.

Sometimes all it takes to make a big difference is a new ingredient.

Two of the Most Important Words

2011-09-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

What ever happened to the words, "Thank You"?

Being a grateful person is an attitude of the heart. If your heart is always trying to figure out how much the world owes you, you will never find it in your heart to say a simple "Thank you." On the other hand, if your heart keeps asking the question, "What can I do for others?", you will always notice when someone does something for you and "thank you" becomes your normal response.

What kind of people do you feel most comfortable associating with? There are those who have an attitude of "What is anybody doing for me?" and then there are those who are constantly looking for ways they can help others. "Bad company corrupts good manners." What are your manners like or do you forget to use manners simply because you've been associating with bad company?

Being a "Thank You" person may be a little outdated and old-fashioned, but it still speaks volumes when you hear a simple "Thank You."

Accomplishing Something Big

2011-09-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. It's the little things in life that we neglect so many times.

Things like a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, a friendly and cheerful "Hello!" Giving recognition to others. These are little things that won't cost us a penny to give to someone. All of us desire to be loved and accepted, and if we will give love and acceptance away, it will come back to us in many ways.

What are the little things that you do during your day?

10 Tips to Managing Stress

2011-09-14T05:12:00.000-07:00

We hear a lot about stress these days, with comments like, "I'm feeling stressed," "He's definitely stressing today," and, "I can't handle the stress I'm going through!"

What is stress? I don't remember my mother or my grandmother ever talking about stress. Didn't they have any? What causes stress, and how do we get rid of it? All good questions, but I'm not sure anyone really has all the answers.

Stress is simply the body's response to putting too many demands on it. The medical books tell us that when the body responds to various forms of physical or psychological stress, certain predictable changes occur, such as increased heart rate, and increased blood pressure.

There are different factors that can contribute to stress. Attitude plays a big part and can influence whehter a situation or emotion is stressful or not. Our physical well-being also plays a large role, and if we are not taking care of ourselves nutritionally, our stress can be even more pronounced.

There's no doubt about it - we live in a fast-paced world today! We try to jam 30 hours of work and activities into a 24-hour day, racing from one obligation to another and never "stopping to smell the roses."

I'd like to share ten tips with you on how to manage stress. Become serious about having less stress in your life by picking out a few of these tips and practicing them for one month. Hopefully , you'll see what a difference it will make in your life!

- Smile
- Value differences
- Cry when you need to
- Know that you really can't change anyone else - only yourself
- Learn to let the small stuff roll off your back
- Know when enough is enough
- Ask yourself, "Is it better to be right or have peace?"
- Minimize your road rage
- Be alone, be still, talk to God
- Laugh

How do you manage your stress?

2011-08-31T06:31:00.000-07:00

When God entrusted me with a business many years ago, he knew that it would become what it became. Even though I doubted my abilities and felt very limited, I believe God trusted me and knew I was capable.

Trust is important in any relationship, whether it's personal or business. The great part about God's trust in me was the fact that he didn't look at my limitations - he only saw my potential.

He trusted me because he knew that I would use the abilities he had given me in spite of my own doubts. I have watched many, many people grow and stretch themselves beyond what they thought they were capable of.

Trusting in yourself and others around you is a gift that you can give on a daily basis. Don't be afraid to move into areas that you're not comfortable with or places you've never been. You'll find when you try and give your best that you'll be able to do more than you thought you could.

2011-08-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

I believe that the greatest lessons in life are learned during the greatest difficulties that we face. During these times, we should ask ourselves, "How can I make it through this and become a better person?" That question puts the focus on me rather than on the issue. If we stay focused on the issues, it is nearly impossible to learn life's lessons.

As I look back over my life, I am reminded of the many times when I was challenged emotionally, professionally, spiritually, and physically. There were, in fact, many times when I felt like I was at the end of the road with no options left but to quit. I look back now and I laugh at how fragile I was, but at the time, the issues were very real and very scary. What I have learned is that there is really nothing that can't be overcome with time as your friend and God as your source - all things are possible!

I have had, and still have, a deep conviction to serve others...and I guess that comes from my mother, who taught me as a little girl to put others first and yourself last.

What difficulties are you going through? Always keep your eyes open to the lessons you can learn, and how you can become a better person through it all.

The Key to Success

2011-08-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

Every man has success hidden in his soul. No one else can find it but himself.*

When we think of success, we generally think of dollars and cents; this is a misconception, as success essentially begins within each one of us. If one feels as if one is a failure, one will most likely become a failure; on the other hand, if one has the ability to dream about success, one will ultimately become prosperous.

Becoming successful is not as easy as saying a quick prayer and hoping our ship will come in some day. Rather, it takes a tremendous amount of dedication, patience, endurance, and yes, at times, even frustrations. We need people around us - people who love us, believe in us and lift us up when we feel like we have failed. In order to be capable of receiving such support, we need to first of all be advocates of the same.

The principal - give and you will receive - is a principal that can be applied in personal relationships as well as business associations. When we can successfully achieve strong and healthy relationships the sky is the limit as to how successful we will become.

*"Sign Posts on the Roat to Success," E.W. Kenyon

Act Your Age, Not Your Urge

2011-08-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

"Maturity is acting your age instead of your urge."

How many times do we act or react on impulse? It's during these sudden impulses that we can be very damaging with words or actions. During the course of the day we have many opportunities to act maturely. Our co-workers, our family embers and friends are looking to us as examples. Don't expect the other person to be a role model. YOU be the role model that THEY need.

We need to act in a mature manner.

Being mature means we need to first grow up on the inside before it can be expressed outwardly. Growing up emotionally takes a lot of self-discipline and lots of heart searching. Being responsible for our own actions and not placing blame on those around us is a must. TAKE responsibility for your sudden urges and CHOOSE to act maturely.

Since we don't have control of others and can only control ourselves, we need to learn to prepare ourselves for emotional outbursts from others and respond maturely.

We Go Toward People Who Increase Us

2011-08-22T04:53:00.000-07:00

The workplace is a great place for all of us to influence others in positive ways. Many times we see ourselves as the boss and we inflict our authority on people rather than influence them.

We do this by using people for our advantage and demanding that they respect us, simply because we are the boss. There is a better way - the better way is to influence. And the more you use influence, the more you have. The very nature of influence is for it to increase with use.

Authority is just the opposite: it declares and confronts. The more you delegate, the less authority you have, which is a good thing! Yet both influence and authority are needed in our homes, personal lives and places of work.

Of the two, which are you most comfortable with? Authority or influence?

We may find ourselves doing some of both. To get a more accurate picture of your style, simply ask those around you.

Then think about this: are you the person you are today because someone influenced you or used their authority over you?

We go toward people who increase us and away from people who decrease us. Are people drawn toward you, or do they run and hide when they see you coming?

Are You a Leader or a Manager?

2011-08-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

Ask yourself these questions:

Am I in the right position at work or in life in general, and am I able to use my gifts and talents to the fullest?

Sometimes we find ourselves getting frustrated with our jobs and getting no fulfillment from them. I know it, because I felt that way for a long time.

When I started Auntie Anne's, I found myself going to work every day, but I wondered, "Where do I fit in? What am I expected to do as the President of a growing company?"

One of the reasons for my frustration was that I didn't understand the difference between managing and leading. It wasn't until I read the article "There is a Difference" that I understood my role in the company. As I read it, the difference became very clear to me, and I was able to focus my gifts and talents accordingly, rather than racing from one to the other and never knowing where I belonged.

Mr. Olan Hendrix has made the following distinctions:

Leadership is a quality;
    management is a science and an art.

Leadership provides vision;
    management supplies realistic perspectives.

Leadership deals with concepts;
    management relates to functions.

Leadership exercises faith;
    management has to do with fact.

Leadership seeks for effectiveness;
    management strives for efficiency.

I hope this bit of insight will help you as you go to your place of work each day. And remember: no matter whether you are a leader or a manager, people pay more attention to what you do than what you say.

What are some differences that you see between leadership and management?

When Kindness Matters Most

2011-08-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

It's been said that you never have a second chance to make a good first impression.

It's true! Although our impressions may not always be accurate, they stay with us, and very seldom do we alter these initial opinions.

Recently, I spoke to a gentleman who had frequented a fast food chain for the first time. He commented that the food was poor and the service was very bad. No matter what I said about how great the establishment was, I know I didn't convince him to go back.

Another experience happened when I went to a restaurant and was served by a wonderful young lady, Amber. She appeared interested and took her time with me as I decided what I wanted.

Because of my first impression, I returned the second night and drove two additional hours the third night, just to be served by Amber.

It's obvious from these two examples the power of first impressions. You will either have a customer for life, or someone that will never return to your store again. Remember, you can make a difference when you treat people kindly and leave a good first impression.

The Ingredient that Many People Are Missing

2011-08-15T15:55:00.000-07:00

I once heard an employer say to his employees, "If you're not fired up with enthusiasm, you may be fired with enthusiasm..."

Enthusiasm is a special ingredient that everyone needs; yet one that many people in business and life are missing. I believe a man can succeed at anything for which he has enthusiasm. We see enthusiasm displayed in sporting events, the entertainment world and parties. I believe the business world lacks enthusiasm. In fact, when we see enthusiasm displayed in the marketplace, we often scratch our heads and wonder what the problem is.

Enthusiasm lifts life out of the ordinary and makes it mean something. Our purpose in life is to live, not merely exist.

If you have set goals, enthusiasm is necessary to reach them. There are many benefits to being enthusiastic. You will experience more happiness and better health. You will be more energetic and effedtive. You will be more productive and less bored.

Maybe you have lost your enthusiasm because of the long, hot summer. It could be that relational problems have caused you to lose your excitement for life. Ask yourself these questions:

When was the last time you were really excited about something?

Do your employees or friends see you as hard to get along with, never smiling, never encouraging, always negative?

If so, check your attitude and decide to make the necessary adjustments to gain enthusiasm.

Does Your Life Need a Change: Serve Someone Else

2011-08-12T05:06:00.000-07:00

Who among us is the greatest?

Many people have asked this question throughout the ages: who among us is the greatest? I think the true heroes have been people who have served others. Even today, people who serve others are recognized as being the greatest.

Life takes on new meaning when we understand the concept of serving others. It’s the “others first, me second” attitude that may not be popular in American society, but is still very practical.

What happens inside us when we practice serving other is transforming. When we serve – whether it’s a friend, employee or customer – we are acknowledging the value of that person. It is possible to bring true ethical systems back to the marketplace by serving those we work with.

You may wonder how you can serve. There are many things you can do, and most times it won’t be grand, glorious or even noticed by others.

Serving is paying attention to the needs of others, being truthful at all times, doing more than you promised, listening with your heart and not your head, being kind, warm friendly, and saying lots of thank you’s!

Making time is the key to serving others – living in a busy world, not many want to pay that price. Only those who truly understand that serving is the greatest form of love will sacrifice their time.

I believe that if we learn how to serve one another, we will shine like a beacon of light. Our businesses will thrive. Our lives will be filled with peace and joy.

What Sets Your Business Apart?

2011-08-10T09:07:00.001-07:00

Back in the 90s I took a trip west with my husband. At each stop, we observed the customer service going on around us.

One place in particular, Wall Drug Store, stood out: the atmosphere was warm and friendly. The service was beyond compare.

When we left I picked up some information on the history of Wall Drug – I was excited to learn that this store also practices giving to the community. You see, business was slow for the new owner of the Wall Drug Store in the early 1930s. Ted Hustead and his wife, Dorothy, had moved to Wall, South Dakota, in search of a place to run a drugstore. They wanted a small town with a Catholic Church. They found what they were looking for in Wall.

At the time, Wall only had 326 people. 326 poor people. Most of them were farmers who had been wiped out either by the Depression or drought. Business was bad. Their faith and dedication to helping their neighbors helped them through the first vie years. Filing prescriptions for a sick child or an ailing farmer made Ted and Dorothy feel that they were doing something good. They had hopes that traffic in their small town would increase once the monument was finished at Mt. Rushmore.

Once the monument was completed, traffic did increase; stil no one stopped at their store. One very hot day in July, Dorothy had the idea of giving ice water away to all the travelers – at no charge.

They started giving the water away and were surprised at how many people stopped. For hours each day, people would pour in and for hours Ted and Dorthy poured them ice water. People asked for directions while they were there, stocked up on needed supplies, bought a soda or an ice cream cone. Dorothy’s idea of giving resulted ina very successful business, one that’s still going strong 63 years later.

What sets your business apart?

We Can Never Get What We Don't Give

2011-08-08T05:41:00.001-07:00

How easy is it for you to overcome difficulties? Every challenge we face is an opportunity to learn something new and experience victory!

One of the best ways to overcome is to start giving away what you need. We can never get what we don’t give.

If you are in a financial crisis, start giving. You may say, “The bills are piling up and I’m in debt over my head.” What a good time to start giving! Give in small ways. Find someone who needs $10 and give it to them.

You may need someone to listen to your problems. Find someone who has their own problems, and listen to them first. Or maybe you need a compliment – find someone who looks sad and make them happy.

I believe the principle of giving is effective not only in our personal lives, but in business as well. When we serve our customers well, it’s a form of giving. When we offer free samples of our product or service, it’s a form of giving.

Your success in the future starts with what you have in your hand today. All of us have the potential to give. Practice giving and selfishness will flee.

Forgiveness or Bitterness: What Habits are You Giving the Next Generation?

2011-08-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

This is an excerpt from my husband’s book, “Think No Evil” – it reminds me of how choosing forgiveness affects not only my life, but also the lives of my children and grandchildren.

“I decided to drive by the old school grounds recently. I’m not sure why. Something deep inside me must have wanted to revisit a place that had symbolized both the worst and the best of our lives. It’s hard not to mentally picture the chaos of that fateful day, but at the same time I am reminded that this tragedy has been redeemed by the powerful stories that will inspire and encourage others for generations to come.”

“The small ‘No Trespassing’ sign seemed unnecessary, out of place. It’s just a field. Why would anyone care if you walked across it? But to our community it is so much more than just a field. It is the place on this earth from which five small girls and a hurting man departed. It is a place that held so much pain. Yet, in the midst of that suffering, the grass grows rich and green again. The cycle of life continues. And where hate could have grown and flourished, seeds of peace and compassion have sprouted.”

“All because of forgiveness.”

“I often think about my own life, and what it means to forgive. I wonder if sometimes, when someone wrongs me, I hold on to that pain, almost as a monument to remind me how much they hurt me. Do I sometimes secretly enjoy those reminders, allowing myself the freedom to look occasionally on them and remember how that person was so wrong to do me that harm? The Amish were wise enough to tear down a “monument” that would remind them, every time they passed it, of the pain dealt them by one man. Am I willing to dismantle those things that have caused me bitterness and pain?”

“You can wear your old hurts like a badge of honor, dragging yourself and others into the vortex of bitterness and anger. Or you can take the high road, the wise road, and, like the Amish, tear down those old strongholds, rake the soil free of the debris that reminds you of your pain, and plant new seeds of friendship and grace. It won’t be easy. And it will take time. But if you let the new grass grow in your life, who knows?”

“Maybe your children and your grandchildren and even their children will follow your example.”

“It has happened before.”

(excerpt from “Think No Evil”)

Small Businesses and Perfection

2011-08-03T05:35:00.001-07:00

I remember reading through all the customer comment cards during my early days of Auntie Anne’s Soft Pretzels. The positive comments ALWAYS outweighed the negative ones (a great sign of how dedicated our people were). But I always felt that as long as we had one dissatisfied customer, we could still improve.

Are you concerned enough about your business to do whatever it takes to achieve perfection? Which is more important for you: counting your money at the end of the day, or looking back and knowing that every customer was treated with care and awesome service?

Remember these three things:

1) The product has to be perfect

2) The environment you create has to be second-to-none

3) The service you give must be incredible

Where would you be without your customers?

Most people would rather do business with someone they like, someone who treats them warmly. Some people will even go out of their way, or pay a higher price, to patronize a store where they feel comfortable. Good business people can put a client at ease. That doesn’t mean they are friendlier than other people – they just know how to make a customer feel welcome.

Take a realistic look at your customer service. On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate yourself? We can improve at anything if we dedicate our time to it.

The Power of Encouragement

2011-08-01T05:27:00.000-07:00

A new week. A new month. Is there someone in your life who needs your support? A phone call of encouragement? A simple message of forgiveness?

Today is the day to do it. I remember how much it meant to me:

“When my extended family found out about (my history), their initial reaction could have been one of disgust or surprise or, more appropriate to our conservative background, shame. They could have let me slip off the family radar; after all, we lived so far away that they easily cold have just written me off.”

“Yet they chose grace and forgiveness. I informed my brothers of everything through a letter and waited for the fallout. You cannot imagine the roller coaster of emotions I felt when my oldest brother, Jake, and his wife showed up unexpectedly at our church one Sunday morning in 1982. He drove all those hundreds of miles from Pennsylvania to Texas just to be there with me, to show me his support, to tell me he loved me. I felt totally overwhelmed and forgiven!”

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, amazed.

“We just wanted to support you,” Jake said in his typically quiet way when talking about serious things. Jake would be the one to come by Downingtown over five years later on one of my first weekends as owner, just to offer the same encouragement and support. One by one my family members began showing me their love and forgiveness through letters or phone calls or visits. This amazing grace allowed me to continue my journey back to happiness and some sense of a normal life after six years of darkness and confusion.”

(excerpt from "Twist of Faith")

Stop for a moment today and touch base with a friend or family member going through a rough time. They’ll never forget that you did.

Does Forgiveness Belong in the Work Place?

2011-07-29T05:00:00.000-07:00

Does forgiveness belong in the work place? If so, when does it apply, and how can we effectively be forgiving bosses and employees?

I grew up in a family of eight children and my mother said to us many times, “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, and forgive one another.” I realize that is probably a very practical thing for a mother of eight to say to her children, but does the same apply in the workplace? Is forgiveness practical in the 90’s?

Little things are easy to forgive, and they usually go away automatically. Bigger issues are harder to deal with; they can accumulate quickly, and will not go away without an effort on our part. But the biggest challenges of all are the life issues, the heavy stuff that can hurt deeply enough to traumatize a person and affect their self-esteem. In these situations, the lack of forgiveness stands squarely in the way of developing healthier, more positive relationships.

In seeking a lasting resolution to a nagging issue among you and your employees, forgiveness may be the missing ingredient.

I believe forgiveness can become a way of life; as we forgive, we experience a release of negative feelings and a relief that dissolves our tensions.

I know that this only scratches the surface of the topic of forgiveness, but I believe it is both practical and needed in today’s workplace. All of us want to be forgiven when we mess up, yet many times we can’t find it in our hearts to forgive the other person.

Forgiveness is a choice, not a requirement for life. For myself, I have found freedom in forgiving and it makes me feel good inside. I know it will for you, too.

Going No Where...and Making Excellent Time

2011-07-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

On a trip from California I once read this:

“The pilot tells his passengers, ‘We have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that our navigation and communications system are out, so we don’t know where we are or which way we are going. The good news is that we are making excellent time.’”

It reminds me how much good management boils down to careful attention to the basic principles: knowing where you are, where you want to go, and how to get there.

Sometimes in business, and even in our personal lives, we complicate things, when what we really need is to apply a few basic principles. These are a few things that I feel are important to business and personal growth:

1) Have a thankful heart. Say thank you to those who help you achieve your goals.
2) Have a good attitude. The language of your heart shows itself in your actions.
3) Good communication. Be someone who listens well and understands the feelings of other people.
4) Be a peacemaker. Resolve conflicts.

These principles can be developed in each of us. Sometimes we stumble over the simple things because we are so intent in looking ahead to bigger and better things. The bigger and better will never come if we don’t pay attention to the little details. Make your goals reachable, and then don’t be so busy getting there that you lose sight of where you are.

The Four 'M's

2011-07-25T05:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we expect our employees to do things that we ourselves would not do. In life, it is always easier to tell people what to do than it is to actually do it yourself. To be an effective manager, it is very important that we live and do, and then we say.

A friend of mine from Texas shared the following thoughts with me many years ago regarding “The Four Ms”:

1. Model – I do and you observe

2. Monitor – You do and I observe

3. Motivate – You do by yourself

4. Multiply – You go and duplicate yourself

The challenge for us as employers is to be good role models. If we can be good role models and delegate wisely, we will instill motivation in those around us. When others are motivated, they repeat this continuous process of modeling, monitoring, motivating and multiplying.

One of the most effective ways of motivating is by paying compliments. Many times I had a job ahead of me that I wasn’t sure I could do, but someone encouraged me and told me that they believed in me. Sincere compliments help us to get beyond some of our fears and help us accomplish things we think we can’t do.

Many people have gone further than they thought possible, simply because someone else thought they could. We often limit ourselves, but others can see the good in us and encourage us because they know we can do it.

You get the best out of others when you give the best of yourself. Let’s do our best to give our best to those closest to us.

Is it Possible to be Happy?

2011-07-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

Is it possible to be happy?

Really, truly happy?

I believe that being happy means so much more than simply experiencing pleasure. To understand the difference between pleasure and happiness might just be the beginning of happiness for you.

Pleasure is immediate gratification – happiness is to love and be loved.

I love this excerpt from Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s book, How Could You Do That?

“Pleasure is an event;

Happiness is a process;

Pleasure is an end point;

Happiness is a journey;

Pleasure is material;

Happiness is spiritual;

Pleasure is self-involved;

Happiness is other involved.”

How much of your time is spent in pursuing pleasure, and how much is spent pursuing happiness? The way you answer that question will help you realize why you experience the amount of happiness that you do.

These are things that made me happy recently:

· Taking the time to find a need and fill it.

· Taking a moment to pray for someone.

· Sending a note.

· Calling someone to find out how life is going for them.

· Talking to my daughters.

· Hugging someone.

· Singing a song to myself.

· Singing a song to my grandson on the phone.

· Buying someone a gift.

Being happy is not impossible.

What's Your Attitude Toward Your Work?

2011-07-20T06:28:00.001-07:00

Evaluating our attitude toward our business and our employees is necessary at times. We become caught up in the daily routine of our business and forget the purpose for our being.

During the summer, my mind goes back to gardening and how important it was to my family. Gardening enabled us to store enough vegetables and fruit for the entire winter.

The most important lesson that I learned while working in the garden was teamwork. Everyone was involved in the process – y five brothers, two sisters, plus mom and dad. The second lesson I learned was hard work. If I didn’t work hard, there might not be enough food to eat.

The third lesson I learned was discipline. I can recall many times when I did not feel like gardening, but I had an obligation to myself and to my family. We as business owners, managers, and crew members have an obligation to one another.

I would like to share an article with you that I read in the July/August 1998 edition of Daily Bread. In it, Kemmons Wilson, founder of an international motel chain, quoted some advice for planting a “garden” that will enhance our work skills:

• Five rows of “peas”: prayer, preparedness, promptness, perseverance, politeness
• Three rows of “squash”: squash gossip, criticism and indifference
• Four rows of “lettuce”: let us love; let us be loyal; let us be unselfish; let us be truthful
• Two rows of “turnips”: turn up with a new idea, turn up with the determination to do a better job today than you did yesterday

Today, let’s evaluate our attitude toward our work. Do we see it as a necessary evil that deserves the least possible effort, an unfortunate prerequisite to retirement, or as something more positive?

My mom always said, “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might.” Whether planting a garden or owning and operating a business, the greatest reward is not simply having lots of money in the bank, but knowing that you have served your fellow man well.

Some Thoughts on Freedom

2011-07-18T08:36:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading the book "Quiet Hero," written by Rita Cosby. Rita is a journalist and has contributed on the Fox network as well as MSNBC. I recently had the privilege of meeting her at a Gaither concert in Gatlinburg.

Rita Cosby exudes life, and in her presence you feel her passion for loving others. The book is a must-read, one you cannot put down until you've finished it. It tells the story of her Dad, a resistance fighter against the Germans when they invaded Warsaw, Poland. Her father is still living, and Rita traveled with him to Poland where they honored him for his service 65 years later.

Finishing the book the week of the 4th reminded me to understand that freedom is not free. It always comes with a price tag. Someone before me paid a dear price for the freedom i enjoy today.

As I sat with my family and a few friends and watched fireworks on the farm, I smiled...

I smiled because I saw my children and grandchildren enjoy freedom with each fireworks display.

I saw the grandchildren love, laugh and squeal with delight each time a firework filled the sky.

I laughed when Ryan (age 7) was lighting his very own cherry bomb and another one went off right behind him. It scared him and he hopped like a frog and took off running.

I thought to myself, America truly is the land of the free! A place where children can run and play, a place where families and friends can enjoy an evening together.

America is free because someone paid a price for it. I'm thankful for all the "Quiet Heroes" who fought for the freedom I so enjoy.

Thanks to those who continue to pay the required price so that I can enjoy fireworks with my family in a peaceful little place called Gap, Pa.

Free Indeed...Auntie Anne

The Right Person For Your Team: Qualified or Educated?

2011-07-13T13:59:00.000-07:00

Finding the right person for your team is more about common sense than it is about anything else. I believe education and qualifications are a piece of what you may be looking for but are not the whole piece. I’ve seen many qualified people who have difficulty interacting with a team and I’ve known many people with the right education who are not able to respect others.

I believe when you are looking for someone for your team, you want to find a person who values people, respects others, can bring energy to your team and is able to help you fulfill your dreams. You want to find someone who cares for others. I guess if we received a resume with those qualities, most of us would simply toss it aside.

I read a short story I would like to share with you.

William McKinley, the 25th president of the United States once had to choose between two equally qualified men for a key position. He struggled with making the right decision until he remembered an incident that had happened.

On a rainy night McKinley had boarded a crowded streetcar. One of the men he was now considering for the job had also been on board, though he hadn’t seen McKinley. An old woman carrying a basket of laundry struggled to get into the car, looking in vain for a seat. The job candidate pretended not to see her and kept his seat. McKinley gave up his seat to help her.

As he was deciding, who to hire for the position that day, he remembered this “little omission of kindness.” Based on the actions he saw that day in the streetcar, he decided against hiring this man for the position.

It’s what we do when we think no one is looking that gives us a true picture of who we really are. Our decisions, even the small ones, tell a lot about us.

Many times we hire because we need to fill the position quickly and after the position is filled, we wonder why things seem so chaotic. Taking time in the hiring process is one of the wisest things you can do with your time. When we’re struggling with, who to hire, why not take the time to do a “character” check on people who may be qualified? It will be worth your time and effort.

Story: Adapted from Presidential Anecdotes. Paul F. Boller, JR. Penguin Books

The Golden Rule: A Forgotten Standard?

2011-07-12T05:40:00.000-07:00

In the early years of Auntie Anne’s the “Golden Rule” was a somewhat familiar phrase in corporate America. The Golden Rule in its most simple form is, “treat others the way you would like to be treated.”

Sounds like a nice line until we are put to the test. There are many times I want to be impatient, upset, point fingers, gossip and be quick to judge and then I ask the question, would I like to be treated that way? It’s so easy for us to react and respond to circumstances negatively without ever thinking about what we’re saying or doing. As I watched the Enrons and the World.Coms of America topple and fall, I wondered, whatever happened to “The Golden Rule”? Did it become obsolete, and if it did, is this the kind of business climate that will exist in the future?

When someone hurts you it becomes very easy to respond with a cold shoulder, negative remarks about them or treating them with contempt. If we would adopt the “Golden Rule” and make it come alive and work for us in our places of business we could change the world! Just think about the decisions that were made in the boardrooms of Enron and World.Com!! If they would’ve taken the “Golden Rule” approach the outcome would have been quite different than it is today.

What each one of us do every day will impact the people with whom we interact. The “Golden Rule” can be used in any area or on any level we may find ourselves in life. It’s guaranteed that when the “Golden Rule” is applied, you will feel good about your behavior. The outcome may not always be to your liking, but you will be at peace when you lay your head on your pillow at night.

If you think the “Golden Rule” is for the weak, try practicing it on those who are a constant source of irritation to you. The Golden Rule is not about being a door mat for ALL to step on but it is about being a person who is fair, firm and friendly. It is about a person who can handle any difficulty without falling apart and look into the face of adversity with confidence.

The Golden rule is about respecting and paying value to others and in turn you will be treated in the same manner. Isn’t it funny, we get back exactly what we give? The Golden Rule is not outdated and can be practiced in our day and time with pride! It will achieve great results for you as you practice it daily.

Learning Lessons Through Your Adversity

2011-07-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

I believe the greatest lessons in life are learned during the greatest difficulties we face.

We need to face our difficulties and respond with this question: “How can I make it through this and be a better person?” Asking myself that question puts the focus on me rather than on the issue. If we stay focused on the issue it is nearly impossible to learn a lesson.

As I look back over years of my life, I am reminded of the MANY times when I was challenged, emotionally, professionally, spiritually and physically. There were in fact many times when I felt like I was at the end of the road with no options left but to quit. I look back now and I laugh at how fragile I was, and yet the issues were very real and very scary. What I have learned is that there is nothing that can’t be overcome with time as your friend and God as your source. ALL things ARE possible!

Being the founder of Auntie Anne’s taught me many wonderful lessons. Some of the lessons came through great difficulties and others came simply as a result of being a business owner and franchisor. I had, and still have, a deep conviction to serve others, and I guess that comes from my Mother who taught me as a little girl to “put others first and myself last.”

Whatever the difficulty you are facing, there are lessons you can learn that will make you a better person. I know you don’t always want to hear that, but the sooner you can begin to explore that concept, the sooner you will get to the other side.

Does Your Life Feel Significant?

2011-07-07T09:36:00.001-07:00

Does your life feel significant?

Many people confuse success with significance when in reality those two things are distinctly different. If you want to build a successful life, you simply try to climb the ladder to the top. To build a significant life you have to discover meaning and purpose along the way. It is easier to become successful in life than it is to lead a life of significance. Many people who are successful lack significance in their lives.

If in the process of climbing the ladder to success you lose the sense of meaning and purpose you will simply be making a living rather than making a contribution to society. You may have a great livelihood but you will have lost your way to significance.

Many of us have missed this distinction because we are intent on being successful. We get all geared up, go through the educational process as we try to fulfill the “American Dream” or whatever it is that we prepared ourselves for.

Being the best, the greatest or making more money than anyone in the field has become the goal and when we arrive there we feel like we have succeeded. Most of us know many people who are successful but are not happy and we think, ”they have everything, why are they unhappy”? It’s because success does not guarantee happiness.

Building significance into our lives has to do with getting outside our own skin and believing there is a purpose greater than “ME”. Its about looking around and noticing there is much to do in our society. We can do so much if we live lives of significance rather than being consumed with our own success.

The purpose for our lives is not over until our lives are over. As we search for happiness rather than success we will find significance in doing something with joy and purpose.

Often times we admire what others are doing and belittle our own gifts and talents. Focus on your gifts and appreciate the gifts of others and you will feel a difference in your being significant. Discover your gift, see it as valuable and use what you have.

Discovering your gift can be as simple as identifying that thing you really like to do and then finding the place where you can do it. You should ALWAYS be energetic and enthusiastic about using your talents. There is a sense of significance that happens when you are doing what you feel you are gifted to do.

Do You Know Yourself?

2011-07-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

Did you ever think about the fact that ”no one is with you more than you are”?

That’s why it’s extremely important to like who you are and to believe in yourself. No one should know you better than you do! Since you are with yourself 24/7, it’s a good idea to find out who you really are and to be deliberate about thinking positively about yourself.

To get to know one's self isn’t easy for everyone because it means some deep soul searching and often, in the discovery stages of the journey, we don’t like what we see.

What we are is a direct result of how we think about ourselves. Questions to ask yourself as you begin this discovery are:

1. How well am I acquainted with the person in the mirror?
2. Who is responsible for my attitude?
3. How lovable am I?

There’s a whole list of questions we can ask - these are just a few that I asked myself. They prompted me to better thinking and as a result, better behavior.

A bad view is kept in place by the way we talk to ourselves, the things we tell ourselves. To believe in yourself is the greatest gift you can give to yourself!

People around you may say that you are not “smart enough”, “strong enough”, or “good enough” but if you believe in yourself, what others say will have no effect! We need to learn to ignore discouraging “put downs” and choose to believe in ourselves.

Are You an Annoying Co-Worker?

2011-07-01T05:02:00.000-07:00

What bugs workers about each other?
What kind of a worker are you?
Did you ever wonder whether or not you annoy others around you?

If you’ve ever thought about those questions, consider these:

Do you ever say “good morning” when you enter your store?
Do you look depressed all the time?
Do you make a mess and never clean up after yourself?

If you are a worker with these kinds of behaviors, then according to a study taken by a British recruiting firm, you are the kind of worker that is annoying:
• 6 out of 10 report that their fellow workers don’t say good morning to them.
• 1 out of 5 are annoyed that their colleagues look depressed all the time.
• 3 out of 10 complain that their coworkers make a mess of things and do not clean up after themselves.

These behaviors are very basic and yet speak loud and clear to those around us. Who wants to be around people who think, speak and act in negative ways? The feelings that float around in your store are actually brought into the store by people. If we can bring negativity into the store by our thoughts and actions, why not turn it into an opportunity to bring positive feelings into a store? As the old saying goes, “your actions speak louder than words.”

We are all created with the ability to influence others. We may not be aware of the potential each one of us has, but it is true just the same. If you want to be the kind of employee that others like to work with, evaluate your actions and decide that you will be the positive influence you were created to be.

Start saying “hello” to your fellow workers.

Be happy on the outside even though you feel sad or upset on the inside.

As soon as you make a mess, pick up a cloth or broom and clean.

These three tips are so simple and elementary that it seems almost unnecessary to talk about and yet I know it’s the little things that irritate all of us. Being aware of the things that we do to others is the beginning of change. A lot of us have no idea how we make others feel in our presence.

Take on the challenge of being the kind of worker that others love to work with.

Little White Lies

2011-06-29T07:37:00.001-07:00

What’s wrong with telling the truth these days?

With all of our education and technology, you would think we are highly intelligent people, but sometimes I wonder!

A few days ago I was getting a manicure. As I sat there, a lady in the chair next to me talked about her boss. She said that in order for her to get off work to get her nails done, she had to tell him a lie.

She told him she had a problem with a tooth and that she needed to go to the dentist to have it fixed. She said he would have never allowed her to take time off if he knew it was to get her nails done. All the time she was talking to me about it, she was laughing.

I was all ears, and I guess because I am an employer and not an employee, her comments irritated me. I thought to myself, what’s wrong with telling the truth? I snuck a look at this lady to see if she was a teenager or a grown woman – I guess I have some tolerance when teens behave that way, although I’m not sure why. But she was a grown woman, probably in her late 40s.

We as adults are setting the example for our children.

Through the words and actions of many in our society, we’ve taught a whole generation that it’s okay to lie. For some, it’s more convenient to lie than it is to tell the truth. Instead, what we need to teach is that the spoken truth may not always be comfortable or convenient, but it is a powerful, positive force.

What kind of example are you setting in your home, your job, and your community? I believe if truth is spoken at home, it will be spoken everywhere you go.

Being a No-Limits Person

2011-06-27T05:43:00.000-07:00

Please take a moment during your busy day and ask yourself this question:

“How is my attitude?”

I believe that a positive attitude is one of the most valuable assets a person can have. I also believe that your attitude can either make or break you.

The individual with a positive attitude approaches life with a positive perspective and is someone who can be called a “No-Limit” person. This person does not accept the normal conditions of life as most of us do. He or she is determined to do the very best that they can – whatever the conditions are. People with positive attitudes are able to do things and go places where others cannot.

Stop and think about how your attitude affects others. For example, let’s say that you have had a bad day at work. You go home to your spouse or significant other, and are in a terrible mood. Think of how this affects the mood for the evening. Your partner will probably be cautious in everything that he or she says and does.

Now, on the other hand, let’s say that you come home from work, but you choose to talk about the kind of day you had. Instead of being negative, you try to stay positive. This approach will most likely make you feel better, and those around you will notice and feel better, too. Your attitude – positive or negative – says a lot to those around you!

Start thinking of your attitude along these lines:

• it is our best friend or worst enemy
• it is more honest and more consistent than our words
• it is an outward look based on past experiences
• it is a thing which draws people to us or repels them from us
• it is never content until it is expressed
• it is the prophet of our future

So, how is your attitude? Is it positive or negative? The next time that you are feeling negative, think of how it affects those around you.

Forgiveness Friday: The Forgotten Cure

2011-06-24T05:38:00.001-07:00

We spend billions and billions of dollars in the industry of medicine every single year trying to figure out what’s wrong with us. Somehow we have been brought to believe there is a medication, a quick fix, that will solve any health problem we might be struggling with.

Have you taken medication for blood pressure lately? Or perhaps you’ve taken something to boost your immune system?

Millions of us are on antidepressants or anxiety medication. Others have to take medicine just to fall asleep at night.

A lot of us go to counselors to help us gain a better sense of self-esteem or to find a solution to failing relationships.

Some of us need a coffee every morning or an energy drink in the afternoon.

I’m not here to tell you that all of those things are bad, but did you know that forgiveness has been proven to have health benefits that address every single one of those things listed above?

Have you ever stopped to consider that forgiveness might be the cure you are looking for?

Change is Good!

2011-06-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

The title for today’s post circulated through our office from time to time, but I like to add something to it: “Change is Healthy!” Ever since Auntie Anne’s started back in 1988, it seems like change was part of the daily lives of our corporate employees and our franchisees. Many times, these changes brought challenges, or perhaps it is in fact the challenges that forced us to change.

Challenges and change go hand in hand. Some of the challenges I have faced seemed bigger than life. But it seemed like with every challenge there was always an open door to opportunity. Personally, there were a number of changes that, at first, I didn’t like or feel were necessary. But I came to realize that if the company were to grow, we had to change.

Think about it for a moment – when we are born, we almost immediately begin to grow physically. If we didn’t grow, those who care for us would automatically know there was something very wrong. As we grow, we change, from infancy to full-grown adulthood. Can you imagine that process without changing? Impossible! It seems rather humorous to even think that we could physically grow without changing.

How do you view change?

Does change overwhelm you or energize you?

Do you see change as a negative or a positive thing?

Do you see change as your enemy or your friend?

Do you resist change or insist on change?

What I have found in my life is that if I am in control of the changes, I plan and make the necessary adjustments. However, if there is a change that comes my way that I didn’t plan or foresee, I become very apprehensive.

The secret to enjoying change – planned or unplanned – is to accept it as a part of life. With every change, we learn something new about ourselves. And although I’ve been told that it’s more difficult to change as you get older, I don’t accept it. I accept the opportunity to change and grow throughout the rest of my life.

I challenge you to face the changes in your life with faith and courage. Learn to change and you’ll learn to live!

Managing Life's Imperfections

2011-06-20T06:51:00.001-07:00

The lazy, hazy days of summer are here!

A part of me says " hallelujah," and the other part of me says, "whew!” The "hallelujah" is because I love the kind of weather where I can be outside from sunup to sundown with capris and a t-shirt. The "whew" is because the heat index is around a hundred and I feel like I want to stay inside in the air-conditioning. Then I remember what my husband said to me about 15 years ago, "this is earth: it's just not perfect here.” He made that remark at a time when I felt our family was falling apart for the second time.

How we handle the imperfection of our lives is determined by the way we think. The weather being imperfect is not as troublesome as our failing marriage, the troubling behavior of our kids or the financial crisis we may find ourselves in. The question I ask myself is, "how do I manage imperfections?” Am I able to come to a place of Peace whenever I find myself in this place of imperfection?

There's a verse I quote a lot. It's found in John 14:27, where Jesus said, "My peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. Not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid".

This world is filled with uncertainties to be troubled about. There are the tornados of Joplin, Missouri, the tsunamis of Japan, the fires burning in Arizona. There are wars all over the world. There is hunger, poverty, disease and death. Truly, "this is earth, it's just not perfect here.”

Yesterday we met with three men from Convoy of Hope: Dave, Ossie and Court. We sat around the table in our conference room discussing these needs and how we could best impact and make a difference in these very troubling times.

I’m reading a book called, “The Hole in our Gospel.” I have to admit that I am reading it very slowly because it's hard for me to digest the cold hard facts about the "imperfections" of our planet. To read about the atrocities of war, starvation and death done by fellow human beings to other human beings is too much for my mind to manage. I lay the book down and pick it up a week or two later to read another chapter.

After two trips to Africa, I can no longer put my head in the sand and pretend it isn't happening. The awareness of this reality compels me to do something for my fellow human beings who lose it all and live a lifetime simply existing a day at a time. Looking for water or a morsel of food is their daily routine. None of us can change the world alone, but together we can impact the lives of people.

Maybe your world is experiencing the "imperfections" of life. It may not be lack of food, water, safety or the presence of death. It may be your family falling apart or a relationship that had a bitter ending. Could be your financial world collapsing and no job to go to.

What I believe and think is that when Jesus spoke the words of "peace," He meant that we could apply it to any imperfection that we will ever experience. His peace is timeless, ageless and knows no boundaries.

How I handle the imperfections that I am now fully aware of comes out of the way I think. The weather may be imperfect, the world is chaotic, life may be unfair and hard but I think---I believe---I receive---the peace Jesus said I could have.

Forgiveness is not...

2011-06-17T04:14:00.000-07:00

A guest post by Jonas Beiler.

Forgiveness is rarely easy, especially when it comes to the deep hurts we experience in life. Sometimes we make it even harder by having an improper definition of what forgiveness really is:

Forgiveness is…making a decision to release those who have hurt you.

Forgiveness does not…always lead to reconciliation.

Forgiveness is…a choice that often has to be constantly made.

Forgiveness does not…always mean you will forget.

Forgiveness is…often a process of editing how you view the past.

Forgiveness does not…mean you do not pursue justice through the legal system.

Forgiveness is…deciding not to let past hurts turn you into a bitter person.

Forgiveness does not…always lead to an immediate change of feelings or emotions.

Today is a perfect day to begin the process of forgiving the person who has hurt you. Even if you don’t think you’re ready, start praying that God would change your heart. Express that you are willing to forgive, even if you don’t think you have the power within you to do it.

When Giving Gets Boring

2011-06-15T10:25:00.001-07:00

When I think of giving, I usually think of doing something that makes me feel good. Usually the end result is satisfaction and fulfillment, but this is not always the case. I was once part of a group of volunteers that participates in the Adopt-a-Highway Program, a program designed to keep area roadways clean. We walked a two-mile stretch of highway.

The first time I went out I was not feeling good about giving my time, particularly because of someone else, whom I felt was simply not being responsible and depositing unwanted trash along the roadways. I was shocked to find that people would throw liquor bottles, beer cans, cups and plastic bags full of trash on the highway. The side of the highway was totally polluted! I kept thinking, I can’t believe I’m out here picking up someone else’s trash, when the litter problem could be so easily solved if each of us cared enough to throw our trash in a trash bin.

I remember that as a kid I was told to throw all of my trash in a waste basket. By the time I was a teen I couldn’t throw a piece of gum out of the car window without feeling bad. Picking up other people’s trash is a thankless job and there is absolutely no fulfillment in doing it, except for the fact that I like to see clean, clean, clean everywhere I go.

After several Saturdays of “trash duty,” I gained a new appreciation for the Adopt-a-Highway program. After the third time out, we found very little trash. Only then did I smile and think to myself, “Maybe we are making a difference.”

I hope that each of you are leading the way in keeping our highways free of litter. If all of us, together, would decide to always dispose of our trash in a proper way, I know we could make a difference.

Sometimes giving is boring, but it’s the discipline of it that makes our lives worth living.

Life is Hard. God is Good. Don't Confuse the Two.

2011-06-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s the importance of getting this phrase right:

Life is hard, God is good.

For so much of my life, I had that phrase backwards. I thought life was supposed to be good, but God was a hard god.

Life is hard. And sometimes when we run up against something that really gets us down, it’s easy to curl up inside of ourselves and stop reaching out.

“After Angie died, I felt useless. LaWonna had turned four the previous summer and required little maintenance, especially with all of the cousins around to play with. I found myself holding empty days, with no diaper changing or bottle feeding or baby carrying required. I spent most of the time crying on the sofa.”

“Jonas seemed to recover well from the accident. I thought he still looked sad, but I don’t remember seeing him cry much about Angie, and our talks about the accident came few and far between. I began to feel embarrassed that I couldn’t deal with her loss, began hiding my crying from everyone. Soon I slept on the sofa, not wanting Jonas to know I cried myself to sleep each night. An emotional wall began to rise between me and my husband.” (excerpt from Twist of Faith)

The worst thing that you can do after going through a tragedy or a difficult time in your life is to shut people out. The silence that grew up between Jonas and I led to many dark paths, places I never could have imagined.

Talking about sad or dark things isn’t easy, but you have to do it. Your relationships, your family and your future all depend on your ability to verbally process the dark times in your life.

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb

Forgiveness Friday: A Life Without Forgiveness

2011-06-10T06:15:00.000-07:00

A guest post on forgiveness by Jonas Beiler.

Sometimes forgiveness is wrongly viewed as a strictly religious practice. And while many positive roots of forgiveness can be found in Christianity, forgiveness isn’t just for Christians.

Anyone can offer forgiveness. Anyone can benefit from the changes forgiveness will bring about in their life.

The Mayo Clinic has some good information on forgiveness. They list some of the benefits of forgiveness as being:

• Healthier relationships
• Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
• Less stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression, anxiety and chronic pain
• Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse

On the flip side, there are effects that come about as you hold on to grudges:

“If you're unforgiving, you may pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life may become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present. You may become depressed or anxious. You may feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You may lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.”

Today is a great day to make the decision to forgive – to release that person that has hurt you. Every future relationship, every experience coming down the road, will be richer and fuller for it.

Thursday's Q&A: The Most Positive Event in My Life

2011-06-09T08:57:00.000-07:00

Today’s answer comes from Jonas:

What was the most positive memorable event in your life?

One of the most memorable events in my life was the day my family and I were walking together in the Tyler Mall. For the first time in nine and a half years, Anne put her hand in mine and we walked hand in hand. Such a small thing, but if you could have seen inside of me there were fireworks going off! It was such a long time ago and it truly seems like a blur but that moment was a stake in the ground for our marriage healing process.

The Thing That Made Auntie Anne's Successful

2011-06-08T07:36:00.000-07:00

There are so many ways to run a business, to make sure that everyone is on the same page. We tried everything:

We provided conferences.

We provided conventions.

We provided materials.

We provided videos and pamphlets.

We provided inspiration.

We provided all kinds of business techniques and training tools.

But at the end of the day, the most important thing for me was to make sure that everyone working with us understood the mission and purpose of Auntie Anne’s: to be a LIGHT in a dark business world. That was it. It sounds so simple, reading it now, but it was one of the most difficult things we did, and perhaps the most important.

In the early days, making sure that Auntie Anne’s remained a LIGHT in a dark business world gave me more headaches than anything else.

How could we ever accomplish that?

Early on in our company’s formation, we decided to come up with a statement that embodied our company culture. But our mission statement at the time was long and bulky and difficult to convey – we wanted something that everyone could remember, something we could all bring to mind in an instant that would give us direction and serve as a reminder of what we were all about.

Pretty quickly we settled on the acronym, LIGHT:

- Lead By Example

- Invest in Employees

- Give Freely

- Honor God

- Treat All Contacts With Integrity

There are some things about light that I have always liked:

Light guides you. I think about lanterns in the old days lighting up a path, or lighthouses sending out their beams into stormy waters. We use flashlights to find our way through the woods on dark nights. Start asking yourself how the five parts of LIGHT can guide you or your business, or perhaps give you a goal toward which to sail.

Light makes things visible. We often use light to help us see things we couldn’t otherwise see: the inside of an engine, or the inside of an eye. Bright lights help us pick up on deficiencies and inefficiencies, places that need work or attention. How could using our five principles of LIGHT help you to identify weaknesses, make those areas stronger?

A person of integrity is like a beacon of light. When you act with integrity people notice. You get people’s attention. The difference in how you operate makes people inquisitive. It’s not just the right way to do things – it’s also one of the best ways to generate free marketing in the entire world. People hear about how different your business is and they want to get to know you and your product. Which of the five aspects of LIGHT could you work on?

Our eyes are always drawn to the light – if you have ever been in a place of complete darkness, you know how quickly your eye finds, and focuses on, light. If you are feeling overlooked by your vendors, your employees, your customers, the world, try practicing LIGHT.

Light isn’t loud. It doesn’t say a word. It simply shines. No longer will you have to waste time drawing attention to yourself. Your LIGHT will do it for you.

What do you think about LIGHT?

Tuesday's Photo - Our Trip to Africa with Convoy of Hope

2011-06-07T04:58:00.000-07:00

Jonas and I had the honor of visiting Africa earlier this year with Convoy of Hope. During our visit we had the opportunity to visit many of the children’s homes and neighborhoods that Convoy works in. The spirit of the children continues to amaze me. Anytime you say “God is good!” they immediately respond with “All the time!”

Convoy of Hope has served more than 43 million people throughout the world through international children’s feeding initiatives, community outreaches, disaster response and partner resourcing. Jonas and I are blessed to be a part of such an incredible organization.

A Story of Reconciliation

2011-06-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

A guest post by Jonas Beiler, author of “Think No Evil.”

One of the most powerful stories of forgiveness I’ve ever heard came in the aftermath of the Amish Schoolhouse shooting. The Amish community reached out to Charles Roberts’ family and wanted to meet with them. The Family Resource and Counseling Center here in Gap arranged for a meeting to take place at a local fire hall.

Eventually that night the Roberts family sat in a large circle of chairs with many of the family members of the girls who had been shot or killed by Charles Roberts, only a few weeks earlier.

Charlie’s father-in-law spoke first, followed by Charlie’s father. Each spoke briefly with tears in his eyes and a catch in his voice. They wanted to convey both their regret that someone they loved had been responsible for the death of the girls, as well as their ongoing grief at having lost their own son. The air in the room was heavy, but not in a hostile way. It was more a time of grieving for all those involved, and the stillness in the room reflected everyone’s heavy heart at what had happened.

Then the Amish spoke.

The first thing they wanted to know was how the Roberts family was doing. Brad [our counselor on site] was amazed at the depth and sincerity of their concern.

“How are your children?” they asked Charlie’s wife.

“How are you?” they asked her again.

And each of the families that spoke echoed the same sentiment time and time again:

“We don’t hold you responsible in any way for what your husband did. We don’t think your husband was a bad man – he was just confused and hurt and troubled.”

(excerpt from “Think No Evil”)

As I’ve said many times before, reconciliation is NOT a required step on the road to forgiveness, because true forgiveness is more about releasing someone than it is about having a friendship with them.

But in this case both sides sought out reconciliation, and it was a powerful situation.

Three things to keep in mind when it comes to reconciliation:

1) It can be helpful to seek out reconciliation within a group setting. Sometimes situations or encounters that might be too difficult to do one-on-one can be better facilitated with friends or professional counselors to be there as mediators.

2) Have the meeting in a neutral location. This can help both parties feel comfortable and less on edge.

3) Perhaps most importantly, before having a meeting such as this make sure that both parties are truly seeking reconciliation. Nothing is more painful than showing up to a meeting like this only to discover that one side or the other is still trying to get revenge for what happened.

Reconciliation is not necessary for forgiveness, but after enough time and healing, and in the right situation, reconciliation can be a healthy step to take.

Is there someone with whom you should consider reconciling today?

"Doing" is a Form of Giving

2011-06-01T04:22:00.000-07:00

I remember a friend who started working at Auntie Anne’s back in the 90s. Her name was Lizzie King. One thing about Lizzie that never changed – when you saw her walking around the office, she always gave you a smile, a warm hello and a hug. That is, if she wasn’t too busy on a project!

I remember talking to Lizzie about how giving she was. You know, when we talk about giving, there are many ways to give other than financially. “Doing” is a form of giving. Volunteering your time and talents to your community is a wonderful way to make your world a better place to live.

Lizzie always seemed to be volunteering – it was one of her greatest passions. She prepared snacks for the local firemen and helped the women’s auxiliary do other things to keep the firehouse running smoothly. The auxiliary, of which she was a part, held a huge benefit auction each March, where the ladies prepared 80 gallons of soup, 1,000 subs, 700 sandwiches and 225 strawberry pies!

One quote from Lizzie that I found the other day goes like this:

Nobody gets paid, everyone is tired, but it is a good feeling to know we are able to help when help is needed in the neighborhood. Most people don’t realize how much is involved in trying to keep a good fire company and its equipment running, or how important it is when it comes to saving lives or saving a home.

Reading back through this quote reminds me that there are a lot of caring people left in our world.

Can you think of an area in your community that could use your help? Maybe today is the day to make that phone call and start volunteering.

Keep helping others!

Our Visit With Johnny Cash

2011-05-31T09:13:00.000-07:00

Today's picture is from the day Johnny Cash came to our house! For many years, Jonas has been a fan of Johnny Cash. For his birthday we surprised him with a Johnny Cash impersonator. (And you thought I was talking about the real Johnny Cash?) The man sounded exactly like Johnny. It was a fun evening and Jonas couldn't have been happier.

Don't Give Up - Just Find a Secret Ingredient

2011-05-30T05:08:00.001-07:00

Many of you know the story: when I bought my own farmer’s market stand in 1988, we sold a lot of great products. The pizza and stromboli were delicious. The ice cream was perfect. But there was one product that I wasn’t crazy about – it was bland and unexciting and I thought it was time to get rid of it.

That’s right, the soft pretzels.

Finally, one particular Friday morning, I grumbled to Jonas.

“You know what?” I announced suddenly. “I am just going to quit making these pretzels and we are going to focus on strombolis and pizzas. I’ve decided to take them off the menu board today.”

“Well,” Jonas said mysteriously, “before you give up on the pretzels, let me try something that might work.”

I laughed.

“Hey, if you’ve got this great idea, just go ahead and give it a try!”

He listed a few different ingredients he wanted to add.

“What makes you think that would work?” I asked.

“I used to do some baking of my own when I was a kid,” he said with a twinkle in his eye, “and my aunts taught me some things that I think might work with this recipe.”

(excerpt from “Twist of Faith”)

When that first tray came out of the oven we knew something special was taking place. The ingredients Jonas brought back not only kept the soft pretzels on the menu – they turned our pretzels into an amazing product, one that would fuel the growth of an international franchising company for years to come.

* * * * *

Sometimes we think it’s time to give up on something. Sometimes we want to quit. I’ll tell you one thing – I’m glad Jonas convinced me not to give up on those soft pretzels!

What changed that situation, besides God’s intervention, was one thing: secret ingredients. That may sound imposing and complicated, but it’s really not. Sometimes it’s a little thing, like a recipe change or a design adjustment. At other times the secret ingredient is something a little more costly: forgiveness, or an “I’m sorry.”

Think about the things you are tempted to give up on right now: business ideas, projects, relationships. Maybe it’s not time to give up yet. Maybe it’s just time to find something new to try.

A secret ingredient.

Forgiveness Friday: When I Wanted to Leave Everything

2011-05-27T04:56:00.000-07:00

There was a time in my life when I wanted to leave everything: my business, my husband, my family and my friends. I wanted a new world, a fresh start. I felt like the most despicable person on the planet, like a fraud, and I thought quitting my life was the only way to rid myself of these feelings.

I remember meeting with one of those friends, my sister-in-law. We talked over coffee. She was one of the few people I trusted enough to talk to about everything in my life. At that point I felt decision-making time pressing down. Would I leave my husband, my family, my business, everything I new, for a new start?

“I know I’m a good girl,” I told her. “I know I am. I’ve always tried to make the right decision. But right now, I just want to walk away from everything. It’s all too much. I want to be a bad girl.”

Somehow she convinced me to stay, to make the right decision, but I still walked though limbo until another old friend called me with advice I will never forget.

Oliver, a missionary friend from Sweden, called me shortly after my discussion with my sister-in-law. He and I spoke only once every few years. At that point he knew nothing about what I had gone through during the earlier part of that year. When I heard his voice on the other end of the line, I smiled.

“Anne,” he said kindly, “God wants me to tell you something.”

“Oh, okay. What is it?”

“You are a good girl. God has forgiven you for everything you’ve done in the past, and he will forgive you for anything you do in the future.” (excerpt from Twist of Faith)

How could he have know that exact phrase, “you are a good girl”? I had only whispered that to my very close friend.

Suddenly I knew: God forgave me. He saw me, and he loved me, no matter what.

Today you need to know that God loves you, no matter what. He forgives you. You don’t have to quit, you don’t have to start over.

He’s already given you a fresh start.

Thursday's Q&A: How Do You Unwind?

2011-05-26T05:04:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Q&A with Jonas and Anne. Every Thursday, they will answer your questions about life, love, work, and more. If you have a question, please post it in the comments section below.

In your free time, what do you enjoy doing to unwind?

Anne: That's easy – we love to ride our motorcycles. That's by far the most relaxing and fun thing we do together as a couple. We've been riding motorcycles for the past 32 years. We've traveled all throughout America and Canada on our bikes. We actually started riding bikes back when our marriage was falling apart.

Jonas: During that time, we both realized we enjoyed riding and it was something we could do together. It was perfect because we could ride somewhere for coffee, on our separate bikes, and not need to talk. We didn't really enjoy talking to each other because of the problems in our marriage at that time, but by riding, we were still doing something together.

Anne: We really believe that couples need to have something they can do together, even when times are hard. We recommend riding because you don’t have to talk. (Laughs)

Jonas: Yeah, we also started walking. I walk on Thursdays. Anne walks on Tuesdays. Our mother in law went for a walk ten years ago and we still don’t know where she is. (Laughs)

Anne: We laugh about it now, but riding motorcycles really helped us get through the hard times and today is still one of our favorite things to do to unwind. And by the way, we takes walks together.

What would you like to ask Jonas and Anne? Share your question in the comments section below.

A Life of Frustration Versus a Life of Fulfillment

2011-05-25T03:27:00.000-07:00

Are you living a life that’s worth living, or are you barely existing in a life that is filled with frustration?

Being an owner or manager of a business will stretch you like a rubber band at times. Perhaps today you may feel like the rubber band has snapped and there is no way to get things back together again, and frustration is what you feel most of the day. When this happens, there are things we can do to “SNAP BACK.”

I want to share 12 principles with you that will help you maintain a healthy balance in life. Tim Connor, who lists these guidelines, was one of a select group of 250 Certified Speaking Professionals of the National Speakers Association, and wrote many books on personal and career development. The principles are:

1) Gather your mental and physical resources and set your goals! Dream your goals; take action and give life to them

2) Know yourself. Mistakes are teachers; remember their lessons. But do not let them control how you view yourself.

3) Choose wisely your actions and behavior, thinking of their consequences

4) Do what you love

5) Live without regrets. Live in the present moment and do NOW what you consider pleasant and rewarding

6) Life was not meant to be burdensome and humorless. Learn to laugh.

7) We are born with a “clean slate” and life is a neutral experience. Know your fears and confront them; know your doubts and resolve them; face your negative tendencies and trust God with the process of your life

8) Control your thoughts

9) Share yourself

10) Learn to be flexible. Your circumstances in life can change in a heartbeat. It is better to bend than to break.

11) Live with gratitude

12) Let go of old baggage

I hope these thoughts will help you along the path of a live worth living.

God Bless You
Auntie Anne

Tuesday's Photo - My 60th Birthday with Reggie and Ladye Love Smith

2011-05-24T06:36:00.000-07:00

Today's picture was taken on a very special day in my life - My 60th Birthday party. My friends and family planned a big extravagant event with all my favorite people! The picture is Reggie Smith and myself.

Reggie and Ladye Love Smith are country gospel singers that travel with the Gaither's. They surprised me by walking into the room singing a song for me. It was wonderful! Check out their music by visiting www.reggieandladyelove.com.

Sometimes God's Big Blessings Come in the Form of Big Risks

2011-05-23T06:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you have to stretch yourself. There are times in life when you know you’ve settled into a place of comfort for too long, and it’s time to make another move, take a calculated risk, challenge yourself.

After we opened our first Auntie Anne’s location, it would have been pretty easy for me to be comfortable with one store: things were running smoothly and I was making more money than I had ever made before. Most importantly, I was in complete control.

Yet Jonas and I drove out to Harrisburg to visit the Broad Street Farmer’s Market in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Driving home, I was torn.

Before I knew it, we had signed the papers…I sat there quietly (on the drive home), watching the road fly by on a lazy summer afternoon, Jonas driving our little brown Toyota station wagon. The market master wanted us to open our store by July 4, only three weeks away. The stand would probably cost us around $5,000 to build…Did we make the right decision?

“What’s wrong?” Jonas asked.

“Honey, what is our problem?” I asked him. Why are we doing this? Why aren’t we satisfied with Downingtown? For the first time in our lives we are making money…” My voice trailed off before gathering steam again. “Besides, there’s no one at the market! How do we know what’s going to happen? Now we have to take all of our money out of savings, dump it into this place…I just don’t know.”

Jonas comforted me, but when we got home, I still wasn’t sure. What if this was a huge mistake? I started praying, asking God for some kind of wisdom.

Out of the blue a feeling washed over me, a feeling as tangible as when I received the flowers from Jonas on my first day alone at Downingtown, as tangible as when my family pitched in to help us get the Downingtown store ready. The feeling was one of peace and security, and I felt God saying on thing to me.

“Fear not, for I am blessing you.” (excerpts from Twist of Faith)

Don’t be scared of taking a chance. Don’t be fearful of that big move coming down your road – it might be God’s way of blessing you.

Jury Duty!?

2011-05-19T05:59:00.000-07:00

This week I fulfilled my civic responsibility and served on jury duty. And some of the things I saw made me sit back and think.

For example, there were 160 jurors in the courtroom. The court performed two criminal cases and used 30 jurors for those cases while the rest of us sat down and waited to be called.

As I sat there, I tried to calculate what the cost was to the taxpayer. I'm not a politician and know very little about our judicial system and so this writing is strictly my observation.

If the 160 people serving for two days made an average of $150 a day the cost alone for lost wages (which presumably would be dollars going into our economy) would be about $24,000. Take that number and multiply it by five and our economy has lost out on $120,000 that week alone. Multiply that by about 50 weeks and you’re looking at $6,000,000 lost…at one courthouse!

The price we pay to judge people's behavior is staggering!! The choices we make DO impact us personally, and make a difference to our families, our communities, our states and ultimately our country.

Next time you're making a choice, remember how much it might cost you, your family and your community.

Dr. Richard Dobbins states that, "The enemy of our soul will take us further than we want to go, make us stay longer than we want to stay and make us pay more than we want to pay".

It may be difficult to walk on the straight and narrow path but the benefits extend to everyone around us.

As I sit here quietly, calculating the financial cost of poor choices, I wonder: what poor choice did this particular person make, and how is it going to affect their life? What was the emotional cost? The spiritual cost?

That is the real tragedy.

Hippos, Stick Women and Laying Down Your Burdens

2011-05-17T05:42:00.000-07:00

Our most recent (life-changing!) trip to Africa lasted two weeks. It all began with a stop in Ethiopia and ended with a two-night stay at “The Governor’s Camp” in Kenya.

We went on a safari: an amazing experience where we saw wild animals of every kind. One morning at 3:00am we awoke with a start and whispered to each other, “What is that sound?” As we held our breath and listened, we realized that what were hearing were the sounds of a hippo enjoying a midnight snack.

These hippos are huge and mean – the guard told us that if you ever get attacked by a hippo you don’t need to worry about a hospital nearby.

“Why?” I asked him.

“Because they will crush you and eat you. End of story.”

REALLY?

But the experience that gripped my heart took place in Addis Ababa, the capital city of Ethiopia. Our guide on that trip asked a question.

“Would you like to go see the stick women?”

None of us knew what “stick women” were, so we headed out in our van through the city. Then we reached a mountain road and began driving up, up, up!

About noon we rounded a corner and spotted our first stick woman. You couldn’t miss her: a very small woman nearly invisible underneath a wide bundle of sticks tied to her back. The bundle was about 8 feet wide and weighed over 100 pounds! The sun was hot, and there was no water in sight.

As we stopped our van and got out to talk with these women, I noticed that their shoes were plastic and completely worn out, much worse than any shoes you would ever find in my trash.

The size of the women in comparison to the burdens they carried was unbelievable. In the early morning they walk three miles up the mountain, then three miles down carrying their sticks in the heat of the day. Our guide said there are approximately 4,000 stick women, and they learn the trade as young girls, gradually increasing the amount they carry as they grow older.

They make 60 cents a day and pay a high price – many of them can never have children based on the toll this work takes on their backs and their female organs.

When I saw these women, I immediately remembered the time in my life when I carried a burden on my own back. Unlike these women, my burden was invisible, yet I felt its weight every day.

As we interacted with these women, I realized this was their “normal.” They knew they were stick women and they believed they always would be. They didn’t know of anything better out there.

Once again I thought of my own burden – I, too, had felt it was impossible to be free to live another kind of life.

The good news of the Gospel is that Jesus paid the price and He has carried ALL of our burdens. Whether your burden is visible to everyone or invisible and no one knows, you don't have to carry your burden alone.

Begin by sharing your burden with a trusted friend and ask them to help you carry it.

Galatians 6:2
Bear ye one another’s burden and so fulfill the law of Christ.

What Are You Thinking About Quitting Today?

2011-05-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

“But you, Timothy, belong to God; so run from all these evil things, and follow what is right and good. Pursue a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness.” I Timothy 6:11

The easiest thing to do in this world is quit – walk away, give up, start something new.

I remember a time at Auntie Anne’s when we had about 50 stores and I wanted to quit. I sat in a restaurant with my pastor, Omar Beiler, and spilled my heart about how disappointed and depressed and tired I was. The only option I could see was walking away.

He asked me a question that I didn’t necessarily want to hear, but it set the course of my life: basically his question was, if I stepped back from Auntie Anne’s at that point, would I be moving on to better things or would I be quitting?

Ouch.

I knew I was running from challenges. I knew there was still a job to be done. Thanks to the wisdom of his question, I stayed.

What are you thinking about quitting today? A job? A marriage? A relationship? Are you about to give up on an idea or a business or a friend?

Don’t get me wrong – sometimes we have to walk away. Sometimes we have to start with a clean slate. But as Paul says to Timothy, “Pursue a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness.”

Perseverance should be the default position. Quitting, walking away, should be the thing that needs supporting evidence.

Today – persevere!

No Better Time to Start Than Now

2011-05-10T06:21:00.000-07:00

Today is a new day! Today can be the first day of a new life for you. What would it take for you to start new, to begin fresh?

Only you know, but today is the day to do it.

Too often we procrastinate. We want a clean start on the first of the month or the first of the year. We say, “I’ll do that this summer,” or we reason, “Today doesn’t seem like a great day to start something new.”

Believe me – there’s no better time to start than now.

* * * * *

“If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it.” ~Olin Miller

This saying is so true – how many times have you kept putting something off, worrying about it, putting it off some more? Then, when you finally get around to doing it, the job takes much less time than you thought it would, and you can’t help but wish you would have done it right away.

“Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.” ~George Claude Lorimer

* * * * *

Are there things you have been wanting to accomplish for quite a long time but just never find the time to do them? Take five minutes right now and make a list of what it would take to get it done.

Then start today.

God Gave You 86,400 Seconds Today

2011-05-04T11:43:00.000-07:00

Today I'm still thinking about what it means to have a thankful heart. Hopefully some of these quotes and scriptures will encourage you to be more deliberate about giving thanks, even in difficult circumstances:

But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me. If you keep to my path, I will reveal to you the salvation of God. Psalm 50:23

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?" ~William A. Ward

Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Psalm 105:1

There is no such thing as gratitude unexpressed. If it is unexpressed, it is plain, old-fashioned ingratitude. ~Robert Brault

If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily. ~Gerald Good

I will fulfill my vows to you, O God, and offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help. Psalm 56:12

Today, no matter what you are experiencing, take a moment and write down five things for which you are thankful. It will change the attitude and posture of your heart.

Your Struggles Will Lead You to Your Purpose

2011-05-02T09:35:00.000-07:00

We all struggle with issues in our lives. Most of our struggles are internal and take place 6 inches between our ears. For those of you who have read Joyce Myers book, “The Battlefield of the Mind,” you know what I'm talking about: the main struggle is in our mind.

I spend a lot of time fighting there, and it drains me physically and mentally. I know what the Bible says about the renewal of the mind and at times I question, "Do I have a renewed mind?” In my times of quietness and meditation I realize I have conquered a lot, but I have not conquered it all.

This Easter celebration, I was especially intrigued by the struggle Jesus went through. The struggle was about 4 days of intense battle in His mind. He knew what the ultimate purpose for His life on planet earth was all about: GIVING His life as a sacrifice for our sins and the price was daunting!

What the Easter story represents to me on this beautiful morning, not long after Easter, is that Jesus understands our greatest struggles.

Just like Jesus, learning to do the will of our Heavenly Father will come out of great struggle. Fulfilling our purpose will most likely come out of our greatest struggle!

What I rest in and know in my heart is that our struggles pale in the light of the suffering of Jesus. I also know that if life wasn’t a struggle, the power of Jesus would not be necessary.

Jesus would not have completed His purpose without total dependence on His Father. Allow Jesus to infuse you with His power and depend completely on Him for the strength you need to get through your struggles.

When we struggle with a determination to overcome we will experience great joy.

Jesus overcame! Today He sits with His Father, willing and able to help each of us overcome any struggle we may be facing today.

His power is available to ALL who ask.

Sonny's Death

2011-04-28T11:02:00.000-07:00

by Jonas

Sometimes forgiveness requires a change of perspective. I think back to my brother Sonny's motorcycle accident and wonder, what can I learn from my parent's response?

A large truck came around a bend on Mast Road, a quarter-mile from our house. The road was pretty narrow. Sonny came from the other direction, and the truck driver wasn’t sure how it happened, but they collided. Sonny died instantly.

Something else happened instantly. Strange as it may seem, from the very day of Sonny’s death, my grieving parents began contacting that truck driver, checking to see how he was doing. They even invited him to Sonny’s funeral. This is always the first response of the Amish community when a tragedy occurs – they always reach out, concerned for how another person is coping, doing everything they can to ease the person’s grief, even if that person’s actions caused the tragedy.

Like my parents, I never felt angry at the truck driver for what had happened – I guess that’s the Amish upbringing coming through. There’s something about the way they live that refuses to place blame on people for accidents that happen, even tragic accidents. I have heard many Amish people say, after losing a loved one in an accident, not that the person was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but that they were in the right place at the right time. (From “Think No Evil”)

Would it be easier for you to forgive if you started looking at situations differently? How is your perspective on an event shaping your ability to release a person or a situation that still causes you pain?

A Thankful Person Gets the Attention of Jesus

2011-04-25T06:19:00.000-07:00

There is a story in the Old Testament about the children of Israel - they were complaining. It made God so angry that he opened up the earth and about 5,000 people disappeared. I guess we could say God was fed up with all the whining!

Being thankful is a big deal and always gets God's attention. There's a story in the New Testament about ten lepers and how Jesus healed all of them. Only one of the ten returned to Jesus to say "thank you". Jesus asked the man, "weren't there ten men, where are the other nine I healed?”

Is it possible that we too disappoint Jesus when we simply forget to say thank you? Is He waiting for us to come back each time he blesses, helps or heals us? I wonder if He looks at His Father and says, "where are all the people I have touched?”

A person who is thankful gets the attention of Jesus.

I just spoke to a man in the hospital about how good God is. At the end of our conversation he said that every night he gets out his paper and pen and jots down 20 things that he is thankful for.

I am challenged to a life of thanks and want to take on the challenge this man gave me...

I’m thankful for:

My Saviour

My husband

My daughters and their families

A place to call home

More than enough food to eat

America

My car

A comfortable bed

Water

Doctors

Our Family Center

All my friends

My fingers

A Christian heritage

Gaither Music

Clothing

Healthy body

Eyes to see God's creation

Ears to hear kind words

Taste buds

...and the list will go on.

Think on the things to be thankful for and there will be very little to complain about.

Oh, and I'm also thankful for the lesson of thankfulness I learned in Africa.

For the first part of this post, click HERE

Remember Africa

2011-04-21T05:10:00.000-07:00

Jonas and I traveled to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia in February this year. It is a 12-hour, non-stop flight on Ethiopian Air from Dulles Airport. We spent five days there and then went on to Kenya for nine days.

This was our second trip to the African Continent (last year we went on a 12-day trip to Nairobi, Kenya). What we saw in Kenya was typical of all the pictures I've ever seen and ever read. Poverty is the order of the day. To actually look into the eyes of the children, homeless and hungry, is almost more than my heart can bear.

Jonas and I left Kenya with a commitment to thankfulness: no more complaining or whining! We agreed that if either one of us began to complain about anything we would simply say, "remember Africa.” It has helped us to truly be thankful for things that in the past we may have complained about without realizing it.

Being thankful results in a more positive demeanor in the smallest of things I encounter on a daily basis. I can not complain without thinking-- "Africa"-- and at that moment I make a choice to either keep complaining or simply stop. It's amazing how many things I've complained about and never noticed, but a trip to Africa made me acutely aware of how unthankful I can be.

I'm not suggesting that we all have to get on a plane and go to Africa for a lesson on thankfulness. What I am suggesting is that we all look at our blessings and be intentional about cultivating a heart of thankfulness.

A Few Things About Women

2011-04-18T07:22:00.000-07:00

by Jonas

Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they carry hardships, they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

Women wait by the phone for a "safe at home call” from a friend after a snowy drive home.

Women have special qualities about them. They volunteer for good causes.

They are pink ladies in hospitals, they bring food to shut-ins.

They are child care workers, executives, attorneys, stay-at-home moms, biker babes and your good neighbors.

They wear suits, jeans, and they wear uniforms. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up for injustice. They are in the front row at PTA meetings.

They vote for the person that will do the best job for family issues.

They walk and talk the extra mile to get their children in the right schools and for getting their family the right health care.

They write to the editor, their congressmen and to the "powers that be" for things that make for a better life.

They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They stick a love note in their Lover's lunch box.

They do without new shoes so their children can have them.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.

Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.

Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

A woman's touch can cure any ailment.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

She can make a romantic evening unforgettable.

Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!

They give compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to people you come in contact with.

Let Yourself Off the Hook

2011-04-13T11:22:00.000-07:00

There was a time in my life when I didn’t think anyone in my family loved me any more, or could possibly forgive me for what had happened. Then my Daddy died:

“Daddy’s funeral represented many things to me and helped bring about a healing in our family that could have taken much longer. That togetherness also helped me to realize that I was truly forgiven – the more time we spent together, the more comfortable and accepted I felt because no one was condemning me; no one was trying to make me feel bad for my past.”

“But there was still one person who didn’t forgive me. One person who held me responsible for everything that had happened, one person who continued insisting that I would have to pay for everything I’d done. I couldn’t argue with that person, at least not successfully, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t get that person to stop whispering to me, ‘You are a failure, you are a bad person, you have been a terrible mother.’”

Of course, that person was me. I was the only person who refused to forgive.

Are you refusing to forgive yourself, even after everyone around you has forgiven you? Today, consider letting yourself off the hook.

Marriage Monday: Communicate Through the Stages

2011-04-11T06:52:00.000-07:00

Couples who plan on having children will move through six stages of marriage.

1. Adjustment stage

2. Child bearing

3. Child rearing

4. Child launching

5. Empty nest

6. Grandparents

I won’t go into what each of these stages are, as they seem self-explanatory. What you need to be aware of is that stress can mount when you are in multiple stages at once: the most stressful time in marriage is when couples are dealing with career changes, launching teens, and helping aged parents all at the same time.

Always be aware of things that cause stress, and be prepared to up your levels of communication during these times. Be open and honest with your spouse about how you are feeling and the help you think you need to get through each day.

Each of these stages comes with its own excitement and positive experiences – don’t let stress and unspoken things take away the joy that could be yours.

Learning From Death

2011-04-06T05:00:00.000-07:00

I used to believe that, because Angie’s death was obviously a tragedy, how could what became of my life be anything but a tragedy as well?

But I don’t see it that way anymore. Now I see Angie’s death more as an experience that taught me many things, and I can see how her death actually changed me for the good. When I see people going through pain and crisis, my heart breaks for them because I understand the loss they feel; but I also know they will go places they’ve never been, and if they remain open, they will find God in places they’ve never found him before.

If I think about death, and Angie’s death in particular, there is nothing positive about the naked fact of the death of a child. Whenever a child dies, it is a terrible loss. But these days I cannot think about the loss of Angie without thinking of the positive ways that God has changed me. It took me nearly thirty years, but in 2003 I spoke at a large gathering and found myself saying, rather unexpectedly, that I truly believed at that point that all things work together for the good of those who love God.

[On the day I went to visit Angie’s grave, my granddaughter] Trinity sat there on the grass beside me, her long hair blowing in a gentle breeze. She looked so much like her mother did at that age, not much older than her mother was when Angie died.

“Thank you, Angie,” I thought to myself. “Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for living with us for nineteen months and twelve days. Thank you for helping me become a better person.”

An excerpt from “Twist of Faith”

Don't Just Try. Do.

2011-04-04T06:14:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in our marriages we have to do more than try. We can’t just “try” to help out more. We can’t just “try” to speak nicer to each other or “try” to be gentle.

We have to “do.”

The following are some excerpts from an article on “trying” that I’ve always found very interesting.

TRY

In the last issue of Bits & Pieces, we started a series entitled, "The 10 Simple Words that will change Your Life. " Here's word #2. “Try”

AS A UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR, I've noticed an interesting phenomenon that happens at the end of just about every semester. During final exams, I usually get an answering machine message from one of my students that goes something like this...

"Dr. Gilbert, our class has its final exam tonight and something has come up. I'm just calling to tell you that I'll try to get there."

The interesting thing is that in my 19 years of teaching, the person who leaves that message has never once shown up. Why? Because trying is lying.

Did you ever notice that you can't "try' to dive off the high diving board? You can't "try' to eat dinner tonight. You can't "try' to get the report in on time.

Get the point? There is no such thing as "trying." Either you do it or you don't. There's no in between...

Suppose later this week you have to get to the airport early in the morning. You call your best friend for a ride, and that person tells you, "Oh, don't worry, I'll try to get you there." Here's my advice: Call a cab!

Federal Express has it right. They don't tell you that they’ll "try” to get your package to its destination on time. Their slogan is, "Absolutely, positively overnight."

Not bad advice. No matter what you want to accomplish.

ROB GILBERT Editor, Bits & Pieces

* * * * *

Today, don’t just “try”.

Do.

Leaving in the Middle of the Night, a Note on the Dresser

2011-03-30T05:00:00.000-07:00

Confession has this strange power to free you from the heaviest chains imaginable: the kind that come with self-loathing and guilt. Confession can also bring out the most unexpected responses from other people.

When I think back to the day that I finally confessed to Jonas, I am amazed at how his response gave me hope, even in the deep pit of despair that I was in:

Jonas broke the silence first.

“It’s not so much that we have to talk about this issue,” he said slowly, deliberately. “It’s more that I have something I want to say to you.”

“Oh,” I said uncertainly. I expected anger. I expected accusations. And if Jonas wanted to say something, I thought he had that right, especially after what I’d done. But I didn’t think I could take any verbal beatings at that point. I had been tearing myself down for years, and I just wasn’t in any sort of state to handle heavy criticism. I knew I deserved it, but I couldn’t have handled it.

Jonas continued.

“I just want to tell you that I want you to be happy. If you want to leave me, then just promise me one thing. Can you do that?”

“I don’t know if I can,” I said, amazed that he still concerned himself with my happiness.”I’ve broken many promises.”

“Well,”he said, “just promise me that you won’t leave me in the middle of the night with a note on my dresser.”

“Okay,” I said. The tears started to well up in my eyes, and I hoped he was nearly finished, because I didn’t want to lose it in front of him. But he pressed on.

“If you decide to leave, just tell me about it. I’ll help you pack. I just want you to promise you’ll take the girls with you, because they need their mother.”

Forgiveness can take your breath away.

(Excerpt from “Twist of Faith”)

Want to Avoid Calamity? Control What You Say

2011-03-28T06:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we forget the power that our words have over our spouse. We’ll be quick to say something cutting or sarcastic, and that moment comes and goes so quickly, but the words remain in their minds for much longer.

Perhaps you feel that your verbal communication with your husband or wife has not been that great recently. Here are some scripture verses for you to contemplate. Pick one and memorize it, or write a few out on notecards and place them around the house where you will both see them and be reminded to speak kindly to one another.

1. “Pleasant words are as a honey comb. Sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” (Proverbs 16:24)

2. “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14).

3. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29).

4. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1).

5. “My dear brother, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19).

6. “He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame.” (Proverbs 18:13).

7. “Reckless words pierce like a sword. But the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18).

8. “Tame the tongue: (it can be very destructive).” (James 3:1-12).

9. “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” (Proverbs 17:27& 28).

10. “Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed. A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” (Proverbs 11:11-13).

11. “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” (Proverbs 21:23).

12. “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” (Proverbs 29:11).

13. “Therefore, prepare your minds for action, be self-controlled.” (I Peter 1:13).

14. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32).

I'll Do Whatever You Ask

2011-03-23T05:47:00.000-07:00

I remember back in the early 80s, soon after getting through one of the most difficult times of my life, I was sitting in the bath and talking to God:

“I’m willing to do whatever, I mean whatever, you want me to do. I don’t know what it is, but I’m willing. You’ve given me so much, restored so much of my life that I thought would never heal. Let me give back, if possible."

Soon after saying that prayer Jonas and I moved our family back to Pennsylvania. Jonas started counseling couples. And I bought a small market stand to help make up for the income we lost on the days Jonas was counseling.

The rest is history.

Have you reached a point in your life where you can be thankful, even for the difficult road you’ve traveled? If so, maybe it’s time for you to say a prayer like that.

Be prepared to do whatever God asks.

Then sit back and watch as God does amazing things.

Marriage Monday: Climate Control

2011-03-21T05:57:00.000-07:00

All these fancy new vehicles have climate control – push a few buttons and you can completely control the climate in the car: the temperature for the driver and passenger, and where the air is circulating from.

If only it was as easy to control the climate within our families.

While there are no magical buttons to push, here are some questions to keep in mind:

- Are you creating a climate that’s conducive to comfort, peace and joy, or are you filling the climate with anger and turmoil?

- Are you creating a climate that allows family members and friends to be themselves AND to be kind to each other?

- Does your climate surround people with encouragement, comfort and loving guidance?

If the climate in your home is not what you would like, try establishing a few small, productive rituals in your home that involve everyone. Singing, prayer or reading together are a few ideas. Be silly together. The good things we do consistently give us meaning and purpose.

Another way to improve the climate of your home: before you part ways for the day, reassure each other of your love verbally and give out hugs. Physical touch is one way of reinforcing the things that you say.

Remember, the climate you create in your home goes a long way towards influencing who each of you will become. Create a positive climate, and you will create positive people.

Conquer Yourself

2011-03-16T07:11:00.000-07:00

If I asked you, “What’s your biggest problem?” most of your answers would have to do with situations or relationships or circumstances. Most of your answers would have to do with things outside of yourself, over which you have little or no control.

What if I told you that your biggest problem is you?

“Hey, that’s not very nice!” you might say, but it’s true. In God Calling A.J. Russell writes that “in order to conquer adverse circumstances, one must conquer themselves.”

I wrote about this in my book, Twist of Faith:

“This amazes me, because whenever I felt most vulnerable, I would blame it on the circumstances around me: my girls getting into trouble, Jonas and I not connecting, my business stressing me out. But the whole time it was me! It was my self that needed conquering, my pride and self-reliance and need to be in control. Those were the real problems. But I didn’t see that. The only thing I could see were the various areas of my life that seemed to be crumbling around me.”

The challenge for today? Stop worrying about your circumstances, and start trying to conquer yourself. That’s how you’ll get through.

Marriage Monday: The Trip to the Lake

2011-03-14T07:02:00.000-07:00

Once there was a couple with special needs children. When the couple raised their voices, and communication got heated, the children’s emotional levels would rise to a place where it took the parents a long time to settle them.

So the couple decided the best way to handle this was to get out of the house when they needed to talk things over. The wife’s mother lived close by, so she watched the kids while the parents drove five miles to a beautiful lake. Soon they made a habit of doing this every Friday.

Sometimes the drive there was so tense, and they fought so hard, that they thought they would never go back. At other times they simply enjoyed the peace and quiet, and spent time walking around the lake, holding hands.

Every couple can take something from this story:

- Commitment: even when you have a bad trip to the lake, your consistency breeds commitment
- Make a priority of having time alone. If you have children, try to find at least one space a week where you can talk without interruptions.
- Take at least two outings each month.

Don’t forget to make time for each other. Don’t forget to give each other space.

Is it time for a trip to the lake?

Marriage Monday: Life As Little Pieces

2011-02-21T05:29:00.000-08:00

In our Marriage Monday segment, Jonas shares some of his thoughts on marriage and relationships.

So much about our lives is fragmented these days. The various definitions of fragment are as follows:

- a part broken off or detached
- an isolated part
- an odd piece
- to break something into pieces

There is a danger that comes when we don't view life in a holistic fashion, when we tend to see it as fragmented and not one whole piece. Things need to have a complete story, a once-upon-a-time beginning, a fulfilled middle, a manageable end.

For example, we as Christians often teach about salvation as fire insurance. Parenting is often viewed as getting your little children to grow up. Family is strictly viewed as a difficult task.

Why is this a dangerous way of viewing life?

Our relationship with God, when viewed only as insurance against damnation, loses its power to change lives, here and now. When we view parenting only as a responsibility to help our children grow up, they lose the best parts of childhood: imagination and creativity and innocence. When family is viewed only as difficult, the pleasure is removed.

We often do the same thing with marriage, viewing it only as safe sex. Or only as a commitment. When we view marriage in a fragmented way, it loses its overall power to change our lives for good.

Stop viewing your marriage as one fragmented part of your life. Start appreciating how it forms your entire life.

And if you don't like that picture, or if you don't want to let your marriage saturate every part of your life, then perhaps its time to start figuring out what's missing.

"Do Not Be Over-Awed When a Man Grows Rich"

2011-02-17T05:59:00.000-08:00

Anne and Jonas are away today, so we're sharing a video from one of Anne's speaking engagements which took place in 2010. Her purpose in this message? Encouragement.

Enjoy...

Anne Beiler from Cross Church on Vimeo.

Marriage Monday: Top Ten Reasons God Created Eve

2011-02-14T06:31:00.000-08:00

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

And the #1 reason why God created Eve...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

A Little Secret

2011-02-09T07:48:00.000-08:00

Today I want to share with you a little secret. It's something I'm very excited about.

I'm writing my second book!

It's going to be more of a business book, looking back over my years at Auntie Anne's and talking about the little things we did to be successful.

It's still very early in the process, and we're not exactly sure when the book will be published, but I wanted to give you all a heads up. Stay tuned, and we'll give you updates as we move along in the process.

And thanks to all of you for being such great friends through the years. Your support for me means more than you know.

If you'd like to be added to a contact list to be notified when the book is ready for preorder, please email aliciah@thebeilers.com and let her know your email address. Your information will not be added to any other lists.

Blessings!
Anne

Marriage Monday: Passion Versus Lust

2011-02-07T06:22:00.000-08:00

In Christian marriage, a couple is meant to reflect the kind of loving unity that exists in the Trinity. God desires an intense and passionate love relationship with his people - this the kind of love that husbands and wives should strive to have for each other.

Husbands, love your wife as Christ loves the church. Wives, love your husbands the way God wants the church to love Him.

Sometimes, though, confusion can arise in a relationship - what's the difference between love and lust? What's the difference between feeling a passionate, healthy love for your partner, or simply lusting after them?

We as Christians needed a clearer understanding of the difference between lust and compassion.

I think the difference is pretty clear:

Lust is selfishly using the other person for your own pleasure, while passion is rooted in affection.

Lust takes no responsibility and makes no commitment. Compassion takes responsibility and makes a strong commitment.

Do you use your spouse for your own pleasure? Or do you feel a genuine sense of passion rooted in strong commitment?

Lust can never be satiated. It requires more and more, and eventually leads to death. But compassion is life-giving.

Into which category do your feelings for your spouse fit? Are there things you can do to become less selfish? More committed? More affectionate?

The Most Important Question

2011-02-02T05:59:00.000-08:00

I love this quote by Muriel Rukeyser:

What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.

This is exactly what happened to my life when I told the truth - my entire world split open. But not in a bad way. It split open in a way that allowed me to begin to follow the path to freedom.

What would happen if you told the truth about your life?

Or maybe you have already told the truth and would like to share in the comments section below how your world changed.

Marriage Monday: Rebuilding Trust

2011-01-31T05:51:00.000-08:00

A loss of trust within a marriage can come about in many different ways, but trust can be regained. Here are seven small things to consider as you rebuild trust in a relationship:

* Have compassion for the hurt you caused and acknowledge what you did. If your credibility is in doubt, now is the time to step up and tell the truth.

* Resist notions that your marriage relationship would experience quick healing if true forgiveness is accomplished. True forgiveness takes time. True forgiveness is a journey. Give yourself and your spouse time.

* The ability to extend trust is not evidence of forgiveness. In other words, just because one of you has not reached a place of trust doesn't mean that forgiveness has not been extended.

· * Trust is rebuilt by experiences you have over time that will reassure the hurt person that change has taken place.

· * Because you chose to forgive doesn’t mean you’re obligated to restore trust without proof that the person is trustworthy (or, forgiving doesn’t mean trust is automatic).

* Until the hurt person is relatively sure that they are not going to be hurt again it’s too much to expect of them to blindly and naively forgive and restore trust at the same time.

* Take reasonable measures to rebuild trust. Be where you say you’re going to be…and be there when you say you will.

Ever Feel Like You Don't Have the Required Strength?

2011-01-26T06:22:00.000-08:00

Ever feel anxious about what God has called you to do?

Ever wonder if you have the tools you need, or the strength required?

In the Bible, Jeremiah has those same concerns.

God tells him that, even before Jeremiah was born, he knew him and set him apart as a prophet to the nations.

Jeremiah's response?

"I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."

I know what it's like to feel ill-equipped for the purpose of my life. When I started Auntie Anne's I wasn't educated, didn't have a business plan, and had no money.

But, when we are operating within God's plan for our lives, he will supply what we need.

"Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, 'Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.'"

The very words that Jeremiah need would be supplied to him by God.

What are you called to do? What do you need?

God will supply it.

Marriage Monday: In-Laws Are No Joke

2011-01-24T12:27:00.000-08:00

A continuing conflict with an in-law can deeply damage your relationship with your spouse. What then, can you do?

1. Affirm your commitment to your spouse.
Be sure your spouse knows you will never choose a parent over your partner

2. Identify the issues that are most troublesome.
Are they issues of privacy? Possessiveness? Criticism? Work with your spouse to narrow down what bothers you the most.

3. Ask for help from your spouse.
He or she can help you detern-fine if it would be appropriate to talk openly with the in-law about the problem, or if such a conversation would be futile. If the problem seems unsolvable, your spouse can help you determine how to adapt to a less-than-perfect situation. Perhaps you can agree together on new guidelines for how much time you spend with the difficult in-law.

4. Accept that your in-law is imperfect.
He or she isn't likely to change radically at this point in life. One way to gain greater tolerance for an in-law is to learn his or her history. In the process of asking them quest questions about their childhood, courtship, etc. you may strengthen the relationship and "gain insights into their present behavior."

5. Examine your self.
If you have messed up in words or actions, you may need to ask your in-law for forgiveness.

6. Remember the power of biblical love.
How can you return good for evil? How can you build up your in-law? Focus on what is positive about them, then give verbal compliments.

7. Honor parents.
Bear in mind that "we would not be married to our spouses if it were not for their parents." Think of creative ways to honor your in-laws for giving the gift of life to your spouse.

Faith Without Works is Dead

2011-01-19T06:00:00.000-08:00

I read a few verses in 1 Peter, chapters one and two and was amazed at something: the number of things Peter asks us to do.

As believers we are constantly asking God to "do" things for us. Our list is long and never-ending. We think that God will do it all for us, yet God actually has his own request...that we start "doing." It's called obedience.

What I just read in these two chapters provoked me to think about "doing." In fact, Peter gives a whole list of things to do:

Prepare your minds.

Be self-controlled.

Do not conform.

Be holy in all you do.

Live your life in reverent fear.

Purify yourselves by obeying the truth.

Love one another deeply.

Rid yourselves of all malice.

Come to Him.

Offer spiritual sacrifices.

Declare His praises.

Abstain from sinful desires.

Live good lives.

Submit yourselves to authority.

Silence the ignorant talk of foolish men; live as free people; show proper respect; love the brotherhood; fear God, honor the king; submit yourselves to your boss; follow the steps of Christ; return to the shepherd...

That's quite a list, and if you read those two chapters, you may find a few that I missed.

I expect God to "do" for me, but all He wants me to be is obedient to Him. He wants me to "do" what I can. I know from experience that "obedience brings blessing."

Obedience is always action on my part.

Do you feel dead? Take on the task of being obedient. Begin "doing,"and over time your Faith will come alive.

These are my thoughts.

Hmmm.

I don't know about you, but I've got some work to do.

Marriage Monday: Expecting More is not Wishful Thinking

2011-01-16T15:22:00.000-08:00

Many people in a relationship will say that their relationship, while not great, is okay. They also believe that this is the norm and that to expect more from a relationship is to indulge in wishful thinking, but any marriage, no matter how exasperating or exhilarating, can experience deeper and more meaningful love. Here’s how:

· Don’t keep score. When you keep track of all the times your spouse screwed up compared to how hard you work to make things work, you become angry and resentful. Your spouse senses your bitterness and gets defensive. So you are both staking out your territory, and the war is on. If you must keep track, it’s better to remember what your spouse is doing right, and let your appreciation grow for all those good qualities.

· Don’t expect someone to make you happy. It’s common to believe that you can make your spouse happy, and that it is your partner’s mission in life to make you happy. If it doesn’t work out that way, there are big problems. Of course, your spouse plays a part in your happiness, but ultimately, you are responsible for how you react to what’s going on with you. Take the pressure off your partner, and take charge of your own happiness.

· You’re no big prize yourself. Recognize that you might not be so easy to live with. You have your idiosyncrasies, and you should appreciate it when your spouse loves you anyway. Do the same for your spouse.

· Learn to be gracious. It’s hard to apologize when you’ve done something, so when your spouse apologizes, learn to be forgiving. Accept the attempt to put the issue behind and to move on with your lives. To do so is much better than reminding her how badly she behaved. Use the apology as a means to deepen the relationship and intensify the intimacy.

· Give your spouse priority. No one likes to feel that he’s been “penciled in” or that to get your attention she needs to make an appointment. Recognize how easy it is to let the relationship take second place to more urgent matters.

· Cut some slack. If you continually focus on what your partner doesn’t do, resentment builds. If your spouse didn’t get to some particular chore, then just do it yourself. Rather than starting World War III, quietly assist by doing what needs to be done. No need to be abrasive, no need to announce that you covered him where he failed, no need to be the hero. Just do it, and move on.

“Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff” by Richard Carlson and Kristine Carlson. Reader’s Digest, May 2000. Pages 95-99. Topic: Marriage

Purpose From Pain

2011-01-13T04:37:00.000-08:00

"I have been forgiven much. In the past I would go to Angie's grave and flash back to the pain and grief of her death and the life I was trapped in. I would feel paralyzed with anxiety and pain. Today when I visit her grave, I think back to my past and realize that the path I traveled made me who I am. I know I have conquered and I am free at last! I no longer feel the need to even the score or get revenge.

"Forgiveness has transformed me: each time I visit Angie, I feel more and more at peace, appreciating the life God brought me through. Now I understand that out of my pain, my passion was born." (excerpt from Twist of Faith)

What was the most painful experience in your life?

Could it be possible that a great passion and purpose could rise up within you if you allow forgiveness to transform that area of pain?

Marriage Monday: Six Things Every Marriage Needs

2011-01-10T06:09:00.000-08:00

Perhaps you feel unsure in your marriage, and you don't know exactly why. Think about these six strengths in marriage. Being able to live the married lifestyle successfully requires that one be capable of the following six behaviors:

• Supportiveness - the ability of each mate to give emotional support to the other.

• Independence - the capability of each partner to live without the other, if necessary.

• Interdependence - the ability of each partner to accept emotional support from the other.

• Spiritual desire - the ability to share spiritual intimacy and moments of prayer together. Ephesians 5:31 32; I Peter 3:7.

• Sensual desire - the ability to experience an intense need for physical intimacy.

• Sexual desire - the ability to experience a deep need for and a comfortable freedom in sexual intercourse. I Corinthians 7:3 5.

Which of these 6 strengths represent the strongest area in your marriage? Which one is the weakest? What can you do to strengthen that area?

How God Brought Me the Baby I Needed

2011-01-05T07:11:00.000-08:00

(I wrote this on New Year's Day, 2011).

Jonas and I are spending the New Years weekend at one of our favorite hotels, Opryland Hotel. I think it's the most beautiful hotel in the world. If you've never been, make it a destination for one of your vacations. I'm sitting here in our room, reflecting back on the many "New Years" that I've experienced and am in awe at how God has kept his promises to me.

I think a lot of us find ourselves thinking about goals and desires at this time of year. But do you know the difference? A goal is defined as "a plan intentionally achieved." Desire is defined as, "an inclination to want something."

One New Years Day that I remember clearly was 1997. I had just been through a long period of therapy and was feeling weary. My soul literally felt tired. I looked forward to a New Year but was feeling anxious and uncertain about my emotional stability. I wanted what a new year could bring, but hoped it wouldn't be yet another difficult one.

After 22 years of grieving alone and silently over the death of my sweet Angela, I had finally unloaded all my sadness to a professional Christian counselor. 1996 was the year I learned that my emotions were meant to b shared, not to be stuffed. That year I realized the impact Angela's death had on me and how unhealthy my response had been.

As I was reflecting on the new information I had received, I felt a deep longing to hold a baby. I had the sense that in order for me to heal properly, I needed to connect to a baby.

Anyway, as was my tradition, I began writing my list of things that I desired or goals I wanted to achieve the coming year. I always limited my list to 10 desires or goals. As I finished my list I found myself writing on line number 10, "a baby from somewhere."

I wrote my desire on my list and thought, Where did that come from?

My daughters were not married and most of my friends were past childbearing years. I thought that maybe one of my nieces or neighbors would have a baby, or perhaps I would meet a stranger with a baby that I could connect with.

I didn't dwell on my list, especially the things that I desired because I knew my desires were not goals that could be attained. That, by the way is the main difference between the two things - goals are usually within your strength and power to attain, while desires are things you hope for (if you confuse the two, you might be in for a lot of disappointment and frustration).

Within a few weeks I got a phone call from our daughter.

She was pregnant.

The news was not what I wanted to hear. I can't remember my response but what I do remember is my written desire. I was stunned!

Cristian Z. Beiler was born in September of that year and holding him truly began to heal my wounded heart. He is 13 now and I thank God for granting me the desire of my heart.

I believe God sees our needs, hears our cries, reads our requests and will respond in ways that may surprise us.

What is it that you long for?

What are your dreams and hopes?

What seems impossible to you?

What is the missing piece in your life?

Write all of it on a piece of paper and give it to God. Trust that He will bring it to pass in His way and His time.

Marriage Monday: Become a Communication Expert

2011-01-03T05:16:00.000-08:00

Do find that communication with your spouse about difficult topics always escalates into arguments and nasty fighting?

Do you feel like your conversations quickly spiral out of control?

Consider trying to implement these communication guidelines. Even better, sit down with your spouse and talk through each of these ten points. Choose only one or two to work on for now, and then, when you see improvement in that area, practice another one.

The first one is a good place to start:

1. Be a ready listener and do not answer until the other person has finished talking. Proverbs 18:13; James 1:19.

2. Be slow to speak. Think first. Don't be hasty in your words. Speak in such a way that the other person can understand and accept what you say. Proverbs 15:23, 28: 21:23; 29:20; James 1:19.

3. Speak the truth always but do it in love. Do not exaggerate. Ephesians 4:15, 25; Colossians 3:9.

4. Do not use silence to frustrate the other person. Explain why you are hesitant to talk at this time.

5. Do not become involved in quarrels. It is possible to disagree without quarreling. Proverbs 17:14; 20:3; Romans 13:13; Ephesians 4:31.

6. Do not respond in anger. Use a soft and kind response. Proverbs 14:29; 15:1; 25:15; 29:11; Ephesians 4:26, 31.

7. When you are in the wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness. James 5:16. When someone confesses to you, tell him or her you forgive them. Be sure it is forgotten and not brought up to the other person. Proverbs 17:9; Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13; I Peter 4:8.

8. Avoid nagging. Proverbs 10:19; 17:9; 20:5.

9. Do not blame or criticize the other person. Instead, restore . . . encourage . . . edify. Romans 14:13; Galatians 6:1; I Thessalonians 5:11. If someone verbally attacks, criticizes, or blames you, do not respond in the same manner. Romans 12:17, 21; I Peter 2:23; 3:9.

10. Try to understand the other person's opinion. Make allowances for differences. Be concerned about their interests. Philippians 2:1-4; Ephesians 4:2.

It's Time For a New Start

2010-12-30T06:27:00.000-08:00

It's time for a new start.

It's time to face what happened in the past, confess where I went wrong, and move forward.

It's time to start speaking to myself the way I speak to an old, trusted friend.

It's time to stop holding out for a time when my past will change.

It's time to stop letting old failures keep me from trying new things.

It's time to believe that this year, 2011, will be the best year of my life, no matter how I feel today or what circumstances I find myself in.

It's time to stop keeping secrets.

It's time to tell the truth.

It's time for a new start.

Marriage Monday: Persistent Effort

2010-12-27T17:51:00.000-08:00

Let me encourage you in your marriage today with two words: persistent effort. If you think about love as butterflies or goose bumps or bells and whistles...then it's time to kill the butterflies, level out the goose bumps and stop the bells and whistles.

Because married love is hard work. It's not undirected effort or random effort. There is strategy. You have to become a student of your mate. It takes persistent effort.

Think about this: are you creating the conditions for your mate to be the person God wants him or her to be?

Is your mate becoming a better person over time because of your investment in them?

Answer these questions honestly. If the answer is no, think about your life with your spouse. What do you need to change so that you can answer yes to both of these?

A Christmas Benediction

2010-12-22T04:30:00.000-08:00

There are so many things to say about Christmas, but today we want to offer you a simple benediction to take with you throughout the holidays:

"May you be filled with the wonder of Mary, the obedience of Joseph, the joy of the angels, the eagerness of the shepherds, the determination of the magi, and the peace of the Christ child."

"Almighty God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit bless you now and forever."

You are forgiven!
Jonas and Anne

Marriage Monday: Every Marriage Goes Through Tough Times

2010-12-20T05:48:00.000-08:00

Every marriage goes through difficult times. There's just no getting around it. But there are ways that you can respond as a couple and as a family that will help you turn a damaging event into a platform to strengthen your relationships.

Here are some things you can try:

• Bring your family together, give each a 3 by 5 cards and have each of them write down three reasons why they don't want this to happen again.

• Have a brief time of prayer with each other every day.

• Occasionally, when you worship together hold hands.

• Commit to a trip to the lake at least two times a month; mark it on your calendar.

• Think of a time when your marriage was good and use those memories to motivate you.

• Each day verbalize your love for each other at least three times.

• Affectionately touch each other several times a day.

• Call each other to let your partner know you're thinking of them at least once a day.

• Schedule two nights away with each other every two months.

• Three or four times a year do something creatively romantic for each other.

• Comfort each other in any loss you may have experienced as a couple.

• After reuniting, give yourself one year to adjust to the new family you have become. (Marriage and family counseling is recommended)

These are just a few ideas. Don't feel overwhelmed by trying to take on the entire list! Pick one and go for it.

Where is Your Place?

2010-12-15T04:19:00.000-08:00

It's a sacred place, a holy place, a place where you meet with God on a daily basis. It's where you feel near to His heart.

The Latin word cella, or cell in English, simply means, "the place where one enjoys God".

In December of 2002, I discovered my own cella.

I did lots of praying and plenty of reading in my 18 Years of traveling on business trips. During those years I often felt frustrated because my life lacked routine. I felt like I was going somewhere all the time, and I had no "place" designated to where I could routinely go.

At that time, I was reading a devotional called "Disciplines for the Inner Life,"
and I was challenged in chapter 27 to find a "place of prayer."

I took the challenge and I picked a chair in a quiet spot in my house. There is nothing spiritual about my chair, but I have to say that when I chose the chair as my "place," I have never gone past it without being reminded---this is the "place" where I sit and commune with God. It visibly reminds me, and if I travel too many days at one time, I long to get back.

I still pray and commune with God as I go about business, but this "place" has grounded me and grown me to a new level of spiritual connectedness with God. I never do anything else on that particular chair except meet with God. It's like "going into your closet, a secret place" to pray.

I have prayed many prayers, fought many battles, dreamed many dreams and even conquered myself-- sitting in my place. I've discovered the power of confession, praise and thanksgiving. I've listened for God and heard Him reassure me of His love for me.

Find your cella, a place where stillness can take over and all you hear is silence. Hallow that place and begin to notice the longing you will have to visit it often.

When Your Spouse Doesn't Do What You Want

2010-12-13T06:13:00.000-08:00

When is the last time you prayed for your spouse (and I'm not talking about the kind of prayer that goes, "God, please help them to see things my way!").

When is the last time you earnestly prayed that they would fulfill their mission here on earth, or that they would find themselves in situations where their greatest gifts and abilities would be utilized?

A proper definition of Christian married love centers around the idea of empowerment - in other words, if you are properly loving your spouse, you will be doing everything you can to encourage their growth as a person and their ability to practice that which they have been called to do.

Consider doing these things today:
- release your mate to be the person God intended him or her to be
- recognize his or her best gifts
- enable the very best to come forth
- contribute something each and every week that allows this to happen

And stop. Right where you are. Pray for your spouse, for 90 seconds, and focus on these three main points:

1 - I release my mate to be the person God intended
2 - I pray that their best gifts come forward, and that they find fulfillment in life
3 - God give me creative ideas so that I can fulfill this aspect of Christian married love for my spouse

What specific actions do you take to help your spouse find fulfillment in life and accomplish their purpose?

He Will Make a Way For You

2010-12-10T04:56:00.000-08:00

This is an excerpt from my book, "Twist of Faith."

As the plane descended, my insides erupted onto the page. I told God exactly how I felt. I sensed an interruption in my thoughts, a persistent thought louder than my own that said, "I will make a way for you."

My heart resisted. "But, God, how will you do this for me?"

"I will make a way for you."

"But, God, I've had enough. I'm giving up. I hate my life. I'm angry at my children for being out of control. I'm angry at Jonas for not trying hard enough to understand me. I don't see any way out."

"I will make a way for you."

Leaving the plane, I held those sheets of paper tightly in my fist. I threw them into the first trash can I found, unable to bear the thought of the sever humiliation I would feel if anyone read them, if anyone had any idea to what depths I sank during those times. But for the first time in over a year, I felt the slightest breath of hope. He would make a way. I walked down the concourse, my baggage not quite so heavy.

Amazing Love

2010-12-08T04:00:00.000-08:00

"Glory to God in the highest and on Earth, Peace, Good Will to men."

This message was heralded from the heavens the night that Jesus was born.

The Son of God handed His crown to His Father that night and said, "Hold this for me while I go and do the work of redemption for all of mankind."

He said, "I will go and be 'with them,' live among them and save them from their sins."

It was a glorious night, but it was also a "silent night, a holy night." His Heavenly Father may have wept the night of His Son's birth because His Son did the unthinkable: He left the glories of His Heavenly home to become the God-man, to live in this broken sea of humanity.

His Father may have wept because He knew even then that His Son would be rejected and betrayed. But His plan for the redemption of mankind began the night of His Son's birth in Bethlehem.

Amazing love!!

Christmas is the time to celebrate His birth but it is also a time to celebrate His "great love" to all of mankind.

We can all "sleep in Heavenly peace" this Christmas because Jesus came to give us "peace".

May you experience Jesus and ALL He offers you this Christmas season.

Merry Christmas.

Marriage Monday: Friends

2010-12-06T06:41:00.000-08:00

It's very popular these days to say that you've married your best friend. Here a few things that friends do for each other - do you do these for your spouse?

A Friend....

Accepts you as you are

Believes in "you"

Calls you just to say "HI"

Doesn't give up on you

Envisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)

Forgives your mistakes

Gives unconditionally

Helps you

Invites you over

Just spends time with you

Keeps you close at heart

Loves you for who you are

Makes a difference in your life

Never Judges

Offers support

Picks you up

Quiets your fears

Raises your spirits

Says nice things about you

Tells you the truth when you need to hear it

Understands you

Values you

Walks beside you

X-plain things you don't understand

Yells when you won't listen and

Zaps you back to reality

"Flexible people don't get bent out of shape."

Forgiveness Friday

2010-12-03T04:49:00.000-08:00

Some thoughts on a Friday regarding forgiveness:

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. ~Mark Twain

Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. ~Marlene Dietrich

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi

If you can't forgive and forget, pick one. ~Robert Brault

And finally . . .

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much. ~Oscar Wilde

So this weekend, think about the thoughts that occupy your mind - does bitterness or unforgiveness drain you of mental energy, keeping you bound in the past? Release those who have wronged you, and you will be released.

Jonas

My Story

2010-12-01T08:23:00.000-08:00

My story, as presented by the Central Pennsylvania Business Journal:

Marriage Monday: Break the Silence

2010-11-28T19:19:00.000-08:00

"Satan builds his strongholds in the secrets of our lives and enforces them by silence. When we break the silence we break the strongholds." - Dr. Richard Dobbins

"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results." James 5:16

Break the silence today surrounding your abuse.

Break the silence today regarding your transgressions.

Break the silence today about your pain.

Break the silence today about your depression.

Break the silence today - tell someone about your anxiety.

Break the silence today about your fear.

Break the silence today, and you will break the stronghold.

Experience freedom today. Break the silence.